Sunday, December 30, 2012











Chelsea & Badger's Alice In Wonderland Engagement Party




We'll take a cup o' kindness yet, for Auld Lang Syne

The words 'Auld Lang Syne' literally translates from old Scottish dialect meaning 'Old Long Ago' and is about love and friendship in times past. The lyrics in the song Auld Lang Syne referring to 'We'll take a Cup of Kindness yet' relate to a drink shared by men and women to symbolise friendship.

Holy bloody hell I can't believe another year has already passed. It's been a BIG year here in the Martin house. Each year I like to pore myself a drink, flick open the calendar and reflect on all the shit that has gone down in the previous year.

BEST OF 2012

GAVE UP THE GROG: After years & years of binge drinking followed by mind numbingly horrific panic attacks followed by gut wrenching depression I made the decision to finally give up the booze.  The claret has been my best friend & worst enemy over the years. I've done ALOT of things I'm ashamed of after getting on the turps and one day I will make a list & apologise to everybody. I'm not going to say it has been easy. Since March 5 I have consumed a total of 2 bottles of red. Not bad for someone who would normally drink about 4 bottles or more a week. Yes I do feel a THOUSAND percent better in my brain. I'm a wee bit shitty because I thought that I would automatically shed a minimum of 10 kilos after eliminating that amount of calories from my life but alas no. The only time I REALLY miss the grog is on a Friday arvo after work when I would have normally stopped at Dan Murphys and guzzled back 1 - 2 bottles of Merlot to help take those sharp lines of reality away.

HI-FALLUTIN FUNDRAISER FOR BEYOND BLUE:  I hosted a big fundraiser dinner dance which was a massive success that raised about $7000 for beyondblue. I was totally overwelmed by the support I received and the feedback I got from the night was that everybody had a totally brilliant time. It was also great to be able to draw attention to the organisation of beyondblue and the subject of mental illness.

GARTERBELTS AND GASOLINE:  This year TBF built himself a brilliant soap box racer & entered it in the derby. It was our first time at G&G and it was great! We had a ball. It was so cool watching the different builds fly down the hill. It doesn't hurt that Mount Tamborine where it is held is so beautiful.

IVF:  During June and then again in August we did IVF. The first time the pregnancy lasted for 2 weeks and the second time for 7 weeks. Very stressfull emotional time. We were VERY disappointed when it didn't take the second time because the results were SO positive. We have made the decision NOT to do anymore IVF and have accepted the fact that we cannot have children. Somedays I am totally fine and then other days it makes me sad.

I TURNED THE BIG FOUR OH: How the bloody hell did THAT happen? I'm 40? Shit that snuck up on me.  I celebrated my birthday by chucking a Truck Stop Diner Party. I love any excuse to host a fancy dress. It was a fantastic night which made me even MORE thankful for the totally rad hilarious friends and family that I have. Mitchy's Mayhem County Boys played, we ate moutains of delicious ribs and listened to Charlie Pride. :)

NEW PEOPLE ON EARTH:  On 6th August my nephew was born Bronson Denis. 10 pound 4. The first child in our family. He is beautiful and it is so awesome to see my little brother as a Dad.         On 23rd of November Mick's sister gave birth to our new neice Faith Anita. A beautiful little girl with a big mane of black hair. Welcome to the world little ones. Be prepared to be spoilt rotten by Crazy Aunty Vicki!

GREAZEFEST: The annual Greazefest rockabilly weekender was (as usual) totally brilliant and made even better by the fact that The Planet Rockers from America played. We had a great time catching up with people & listening to fantastic bands.  It was bloody FREEZING on the Saturday night but that was ok as I got to wear my new furry coat.


SheriBomb blog launch party

Henry Rollins live at QPAC

Katrina's Surprise 40th birthday party

Ray's 50th birthday party at Wintersun Coffs Harbour

Chelsea & Badger's Alice in Wonderland Engagement Party

Mimsy's Trailer Trash Tattoo Open Day

Keiran's Surprise 40th UK/British birthday party

Twin Waters mini holiday break

Marg the MILs 60th birthday party lunch at Coffs Harbour

Dwight Yoakam in concert

Fraser Island for Christmas


I may not have lost a stack of weight but I've learnt heaps about exercising properly and eating clean.  I've also met, both in person & online the most incredible bunch of people who floor me with their inspiration and motivation and generally grouseness.

It's been a BIG year. A bloody roller coaster of emotions to be honest. But I think with each passing year I get that little bit stronger, I learn more stuff and things  I meet new brilliant people and I discover more interesting things about myself. 

With each passing year do I become more mature and grown up??

NO WAY MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Thursday, December 27, 2012

We're Stomping on the Beach

Howdy yawl. Well I hope everybody had a lovely Christmas without too much stress.
We've arrived home & I've finally shaken the sand out of my gusset and settled back into 'normal' life.
We arrived at Fraser Island last Saturday. By the time we got to the house at Orchid Beach & unpacked & had a cuppa I was itchin' to get to my all time favourite place in the universe.
We got there around 4pm and there was only one family group there. We were chatting to them about how awesome the place when I thought to myself "These people look very familiar!" I said "Did you used to do swing dancing at Katz Korner about 8 years ago with Ray & Chrissy?"
"OMG Yes?! OMG Vicki????!"
Yep turns out we went to the same swing dance classes.... What a small world.
OCEAN LAKE (photo taken from images on google)
The good thing about Ocean Lake is bugger-all people go there. The water looks really really dirty unlike the touristy popular chrystal clear Lake Mackenzie but it is actually fresh fresh water that is the colour of tea because of the tannins in the water from the tea-tree. It's shady. The water temp is lovely and the minerals in the water leave your skin & hair super soft. Sigh. It is DIVINE!!
Every day we were up there I slip slop slapped like CRAZY. Having lilly-white skin with almost zero melanin levels does NOT allow me to be the typical Queenslander Beach Bunny... I looked more like a swim-suit pin up from the 1920s! Sexy as.NOT. I had a wide brimmed fishing hat, high neck rashie, board shorts, Invisible zinc, Factor 30+ sunscreen AND a long sleeved fishing shirt! Did I get burnt at all?
Not on your Nelly!

The Fam decided that we would do Christmas Day on the 24th instead so my nephew Andy (who is two) could get his pressies to play with earlier. Christmas brekkie was the same as brekkie everyday up there. Organic mueslie with blueberries, yogurt and fresh mango.
Christmas lunch was a huge smoked side of fresh salmon with heaps of fresh salads and desert was home-made meringues with fresh fruit salad. YUMMO! I also made a thing that I call No Nog Nog.
It is Egg Nog without the egg. It is basically a banana smoothie made with almond milk.. but you add dates, rum essence and vanilla extract. BULL-SHIT GOOD.
For the majority of the holiday we ate really healthy. I snacked on mini ciabatta with homemade hummus, walnuts and homemade vegan chocolate cake (vegan=healthy right?)
TBF's family are mad fishermen... me?... not so keen so I took on the role of head babysitter for Andy. Andy & I had a great time at the beach. While the fam collected worms (so gross. They remind me of those giant worm things in Dune or Beetlejuice... shudder) & fished for whiting we played a game called "Wuzzat?" We had travelled up to The Great Sandy Cape on the real Christmas Day. A shade structure was erected to shelter the fragile baby skins from the belting rays.
The game involved Andy pointing to something and asking "Wuzzat?" in his mega adorable voice.
eg: Wuzzat? Me- Sand Andy-Wuzzat? Me- more sand Andy- Wuzzat? Me - even more sand etc etc etc. I decided enough was enough so we chucked on even MORE zinc and hit the water.
I made up a song that proved to be a BIG hit with the little tacker.. it goes like this......
I'm stomping on the beach. I'm stomping on the beach. I'm stomping with my feet. I'm stomping on the beach. Second, Third and Fourth verses just substitute stomping with walking, clapping and marching.
Pretty good eh?
our view on Christmas Day at The Great Sandy Cape
The other place TBF & I went to was my second favourite place on Fraser. The Champagne Pools.
They are called this because they are two rock pools protected from the ocean, however, the water from the surf is still able to crash over the top of the rocks which makes the cool water fizzy like champagne.
Even though initially there were a few german backpackers sharing the place with us, soon enough they buggered off and it was just TBF & I and one Aussie family who were grouse enough to share a Christmas beer with us (not me just TBF). It was SO beautiful. TBF cut bits of cungy-boy (another super grouse thing that looks like a huge bit of red oystery snot stuff) off the rocks and we fed the brim in the water and filmed it on the Go-Pro. I could have stayed forever but the sea lice had started feasting on my flesh and it was getting dark.
The Champagne Pools (image from Google)
overlooking Indian Head
All too soon it was time to pack up and come home again. We had such a lovely relaxing time.
I read TWO novels, ate lots of yummy fresh fruit, everyday I went for walks on the beach, got to spend lots of time with my new one month old neice Faith who made my soul sing everyday with her big smiles, laughed my arse off, danced around singing "Poo Poo in the Potty" everytime my nephew successfully used his potty, slept in the middle of the day and was reminded of just how lucky I am to have in-laws are awesome as I do.
I must admit that after 5 days of NO makeup and not doing my hair I was starting to go into Maybelline/Cedal withdrawls and feeling a wee bit mangy and craving my Mac Ruby Woo.
It WAS nice to get home too. I was keen to get back on track with my eating plan and so I sat down today & planned out my food for upcoming week including New Years.
I'm looking forward to 2013.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

All I want is Peace on Earth & Cute Shoes.

Well kittens this is my last post for a while as we head off to the tropical paradise of Fraser Island tomorrow morning for 5 days of relaxation. Shit yeah! *fist pumps the air like a dickhead*
I'll be sure to do a blog report when I get back on the 27th about how I walked 30 kilometres every day, only snacked on lychees and did 500 sit up crunches on the beach at every sunset.

I hope everybody has a super rad grouse Christmas & it's not too stressful. It's a good to to reflect on what you are thankful & grateful for.
I'm grateful for the internet for providing me with lots of entertainment (I could watch 2 Hampsters One Wheel over & over).
I'm grateful for my hubby for being a very patient & understanding human wookie.
I'm grateful that I have lots of super cool horn-bag friends who put up with my constant posts on Facebook of sarcastic someecards saying how much I hate people.
I am grateful for my family even though they are all a bunch of looney-tunes.
 I am grateful that there are people in the world who own pugs & dress them up in outfits & post them on the internet for our amusement.
I am grateful for Tarder Sauce the Grumpy Cat... just because he is so awesome.

I'm sure I will think of more things later on.

Remember to drink lots of water and slip slop slap.
Be Safe everybody.
And when temptation comes a calling just ask yourself



Tuesday, December 18, 2012

I'm Dreaming of a Fraser Christmas.

3 days to go
3 days and TBF & I will be up at Fraser Island for 5 days.
No TV. No Computers. No Ringing Phones. No pain in the arse customers.
I will be taking up 2 (maybe 3) novels to read. I plan on reading shitloads, swimming in the champagne pools, the ocean & Ocean Lake, taking LONG walks along the beach & playing with my neice & nephew.
I am very very fortunate because TBF's family are really very very health conscious so the trip, food wise, is going to be very 12wbt friendly.  LOADS & LOADS & LOADS of watermelon, mangoes & cherries,  fish (hopefully freshly caught), prawns and salads. We aren't really taking up any packets of chips etc but are having organic crackers with homemade salsas.
Christmas lunch is going to be a huge big slab of salmon and prawns and fish with lots of salads and home-made pav for dessert with lots of fruit. I'm making a big jar of homemade hommus and have pre-prepared one of the dinners of prawn & seafood jambalya.
I have told TBF that I can't let my exercise fall by the way-side just because I am holidaying at one of the most tranquil beautiful places in the cosmos.
My plan is to do the 12wbt Toning (at home) program everyday & going for really really long walks along the beautiful beaches.
I don't drink anymore so I will be on soda water with lime , normal water or Diet Creamy Soda.
Due to my lilly white albino-like skin I will NOT be donning a bikini.
I have my sexy high necked rashi that is reminiscent of a 1920s swimsuit, covered with a long sleeved white men's shirt with my massively wide brimmed hat, Factor 50+ invisible zinc, Factor 30+ water/sweat proof sunscreen and uber-sexy board shorts.

Today was weigh-in day. Gain of 500g. This is due to a number of reasons (excuses)
This past week has been CRAY-CRAY.
Between Christmas Shopping, Fraser food shopping, Family BBQs, Christenings, The Incredible Shitful Heat, the fact that at ovulation time of the month my ovaries swell up like rotton grapefruit, buying shorts, returning shorts, buying more shorts & returning shorts again (this is a whole other blog post about bullshit sizings), stress about my Dad, packing for Fraser and...............
well you get the idea.
No exercise. Not following the eating plan. Not over-eating but just not watching what I eat.
Yesterday I felt a big blender head day coming on and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack.
Just way too much going on in my grey spongy brain and it was overloading.
I just had to race home and take some deep calming breaths & STOP.
Today I bought the tickets to the GRAND FINALE PARTY.
Putcha ands in da ayre!
Do you know there is a part of me that feels like I don't deserve to go?
In the past 5 weeks I've only been commited I reckon about 50%.
This makes me feel like a bit of a fraud.
Mind you we still have 6 weeks to go so I still have time to redeem myself I suppose.
I'm also, as usual, anxious about not knowing anyone at the party and TBF & I standing in the corner on the night like dorks.
Anyway, I cannot WAIT for this week to be over.
Calm Blue Ocean. Calm Blue Ocean. Calm Blue Ocean.

Friday, December 14, 2012

3. Raging Bull (1980)

I am a HUGE fan of boxing films. I don't quite know why that is. I have vague recollections of standing outside the boxing tent at the Oakey and Toowoomba shows and loving the sight of the big burly men lined up outside, the smell of sweat and saw dust and the raucous blood thirsty bellowing of the crowd.

So I pressed Play already excited about seeing another round of boxing glory.
Firstly, I'm a dickhead.
I did not know that this movie was A. In black and white & B. prodominatantley set in the 1940s. BONUS!
What can I say? This movie is amazing.
From the musical score to the simply stunning visuals to the fucking incredible 'acting' (I use the term acting loosly because at times you really do feel like you are watching a documentary the acting is so incredible) this film is faultless.

Be warned it is also shudderingly violent.. and that's not even in the boxing ring.
Joe Pesci is terrifying and well Robert De Niro is incredible.  It must have taken AGES to film simply because of the incredible body transformations Jake La Motta goes through. Buff to fat to buff to fat.
And how AWFUL is Jake? What a scum-bag arsehole! A complete psychopath. Scary as.
One of the most despicable 'characters' you will meet.
Cathy Moriaty is just wonderful as Jake's beautiful suffering wife. (yes I couldn't stop looking at her outfits & hair).

Finally, the fight scenes. HOLY SHIT. jaw hits the ground. I need to watch 'the making of' because I cannot see how these scenes could have been faked. Those punches (seem to be) actually connecting and pounding. Especially Jake's final fight scene with Sugar Ray Robinson.
If you love boxing films like me you MUST see this movie.
If you love noir films. You MUST see this movie.
 If you simply love movies that are completely faultless with scarily 'real' acting.

You have to watch this.
5 out of 5 stars.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

CURVE: The loveliest Distance between Two Points - Mae West

Well Well Well week FOUR already!
Fitness test & measuring mayhem.
Yesterday I took myself down to the water to do my 1km run.  It was a blustery windy day my friends. I took off on the run (jog) with Queens of the Stone Age and Pearl Jam blaring in my ears.
I just focused on the ground infront of me, as I've found that if I look up & ahead it's like I'm headed for the Min-Min light and it seems MILES away. I'm sure the people I passed must have thought I was a bit mental because the grim look of determination on my face combined with my grunting & puffing was reminisant of a bull-dog eating a piece of wet lettuce.
One hundred metres to go and I couldn't believe that not only was I STILL jogging but I wasn't sobbing or cursing the exercise gods. I crossed the mark at hit the stopwatch.

That's an improvement of a whole 30 seconds!!!!! Awesome!
Then I did my wall sit against the dunnies at Pelican Park where people must have thought I was some sort of whacked out pervy drug dealer as I stared out at the bay with a steely look on my dial while quietly moaning into the salty winds.
This is an improvment of 27 seconds. Oh yeah!
I waited until I got home before doing my push-ups as I had the feeling that people were eyeing me suspiciously. With my bright red flushed face, wild look in my eyes and crazy wind-swept hair I looked quite a sight!  Definately NOT my usual glamour look. LOL
I managed to do four more pushups than last time! 
Then this morning I stood on the scales starkers and looked down and smiled. 88kg.
I'm no Kate Moss or Scarlett yet but the graph is going down again which is good news.
Out came the trusty tape measure and I am happy to report that I have lost a total of 6cm off my body. For some reason my left thigh is two cm bigger. Weird Side Show Freak woman.
I've lost 3cm of my bazoongas which is super rad because that means I am getting ever closer to the ultimate goal of fitting into my rayon blouses without the buttons bursting open like Superman's shirt.
The Big Fella however, is NOT as happy with this.
All in all I am pretty happy with my Week Four results.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Be running Up that Road, Be running up that Hill. With no Problems.

On the weekend I had the very good fortune to be able to meet some of the Northside 12wbt members at a little get together down at the waterfront at Suttons Beach.
After riding my deadly treadly back and forth a bit I finally found the group in amongst the 50 billion people barbequeing that day.
I thought I would step out of my comfort zone and go and MEET some people.
And what an amazing bunch of ladies! I sat there godsmacked at the incredible accomplishmets of these women both personal & physical. Very very inspirational!
I was stoked to meet a fellow blogger Kate who writes the fabulous blog: .
We all shared our stories in the gorgeous breeze off the water. It was lovely. I'm such a dickhead though, the meet up finished & I realised after everybody left that I forgot to get a group photo!
So instead I will just steal the pic taken by Kate.
I'm detecting a common theme here.
 Thank you SO much to the super hilarious & gorgeous Leanne for organising it and for all the ladies for being so friendly & lovely. What a fabulous way to spend a few hours on a Sunday arvo!
Now, I'm not sure how to say this but.........
I don't WANT to do a triatholon. or Tough Mudder. or the Kokoda challenge. or Bridge to Brisbane.
There. I said it.
I was astounded by how many fitness events alot of the 12wbt ladies go into.
Please please please please DO NOT get me wrong.
If you are one of these people who go into these events, I think you are totally freaking amazing & brilliant (a wee bit crazy) but totally inspirational that alot of you have lost shit-loads of weight and love nothing better than pushing your new buff fit n healthy bodies to new limits.
BUT I just don't wanna do it.
I want to get fit. I want to look fucking hot & buff. I want to lose weight (god I want to lose weight).
I want to feel like I have lots of energy BUT I just don't get into PUSHING myself. The thought of doing a 20km obstacle course like Tough Mudder just doesn't float my boat.
I must admit that I feel a bit of a loser by admitting this. I feel like I'm a failure because I'm not hitting boot-camps every weekend.
Does this make me less of a person?
Does this mean that I mustn't be as committed as I should be?
I sometimes wonder.
I just want to do my exercises, work up a sweat, burn more calories than if I was sitting of the bed watching re-runs of Scrubs while drinking a bottle of Merlot, turn bright red, have a shower & have a nap.
I DON'T want to feel like I am going to DIE.
Again I say, if you are a person who loves pushing yourself & doing these things, I seriously say "Bloody good onya and Go you good thing".
Not for me I'm afraid.
I just want to be able to fit into my vintage frocks again and not look at myself naked in the mirror without vomiting a little in my own mouth.
While I'm having a bit of a vent I just want to say that it also gives me the absolute shits that I gave up drinking grog (about 3-4 bottles of Merlot a week) completely, I have gone from doing sweet fuck all exercise to exercising 4-5 days a week, I don't eat junk food like Maccas or HJs and eat primarily organic fresh food and yet I struggle like a bastard to lose weight! For Gods Sake.
I sometimes read people's posts on Flakebook or the 12wbt forums.
"Oh I can't believe it! I've lost 5 kilos in 2 weeks JUST from eating clean and going for a walk"
and yet it seems to take me FOREVER to lose weight.
It's. Just. Not. Fair (stamps foot).
Am I alone? Please tell me I'm not alone in the way I feel.

Friday, December 7, 2012

2. The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

Well I just finished watching The Dark Knight Rises. It was hard to watch it and not compare it to "The Dark Knight" which after watching this, I think "The Dark Knight" is a FAR superior movie.

Now I KNOW that this is a comic and you need to suspend reality but I just found it to be SO very predictable.  I did like Bain as a baddy (loved the voice) but I'm not sure if this was because I just kept visulising Tom Hardy (hubba hubba) under that mask.  I thought he was a pretty rad bad guy.

I must admit I was pretty dissapointed in "Cat Woman". She really wasn't Cat Woman at all except for the fact that she was a "cat" burglar and wore tight black clothes. Again I couldn't help but compare her to Michelle Pfeiffer's brilliant super super sexy cat woman or even Julie Newmar. I just find Anne Hathaway really boring and AS one dimensional as a piece of wet cardboard.

It was also surprising to see Ben Mendelsohn. It's always good to see an Aussie actor getting good roles in big budget films.

Without giving away anything I must say I was impressed by a few surprises I didn't see coming but most of the time I was saying "I bet this will happen" and it did.

In saying this I didn't think the movie was total shit. It is a crackin' good action film & the special effects were great. It would have been pretty cool to see on the big screen.
It wasn't totally disspointing just really really wanky in lot of places. I found myself slappin my forhead going "Oh bloody hell!" alot.

Good movie.. not great.