Saturday, October 29, 2016


Today I took a big jump out of my comfort zone and decided to try FLOAT at Lutwyche.

"What the hell is a FLOAT ?" I hear you wail

OK so you pay someone to let you float in a tank of  magnesium-based Epsom salts water in complete & utter darkness and silence for an hour.

"Ummmmm okay why?" I hear you stammer.

Well it's meant to zen you the heck out and relax the hell out of your body.

Now, my problem is this....

I have a bad over active imagination.

So instead of imagining myself floating blissfully like a fetus in embryonic fluid without a care or worry, my mind immediately went to Ryan Reynolds in Buried Alive.

Lovely Vicki brain. Lovely.

I need not have worried. From the moment we arrived we were made to feel really calm and relaxed by Chris the owner.  To help quash any fears, before we went in Chris went through how the whole thing operates and how it is kept mega hygienic. The facility was super clean & I liked that it was very basic without all the hippy wanker stuff like Buddhas bought from Bargain Hut.

After the orientation I was taken to my room. There was a large shower room that was very dark but lit in purple light.  When I saw the door to the float room I have to admit I started having a panic attack. I felt like I was going to start crying and I was shaking.
 Again, the good old Vicki imagination kicked in to over drive because quite frankly, the door looked just like a mortuary door and the room beyond looked was SOOOOOOOOOO dark it was like some sort of gateway to the Upside Down or something out of Stargate.
 (I've read way too many sci-fi novels)

I almost pulled the pin right then & there but Chris (who no doubt has seen this initial reaction a million times) assured me that I can leave the door open a bit to let in some light and it can't lock so I can stop at any time and get the fuck out at any time.

He then squished some ear plugs into my ears and it was time.

I had my required shower, took a big breath & stepped into the room like I was a weird nude astronaut stepping through a time travelling portal to another dimension (shut up Vicki imagination).

I sat in the water which was only about 14 inches deep and let my eyes get used to the room. I lay back and was immediately amazed by the feeling of the 'water'. It is super super salty and I can only describe it as like when you make jelly and it hasn't quite set yet.  It is heated to be the same temperature as your body and felt really nice. I kept my eyes open and focused on the strange feeling of the water.  Then my morbid black humour kicked in and I started giggling because the room looked to me like Dexter's kill room but with thick black plastic instead of clear plastic.  (yes I'm a weirdo)

I began to relax and just be silly by pin balling myself up & down and side to side. This was very fun.

After about 15 minutes I built up the courage to close the door.  I was abruptly plunged into complete & utter darkness.  Crazy dark.
Surprisingly, I was cool with not being able to see my hand in front of my face but the temperature of the air pumped into the room is also body temperature in order for your body to not feel any cold or heat and that DID make me feel suffocated. I am the sort of person who even in winter needs a window open, so I cracked the door again to let in some cool air.

*disclaimer - this is NOT me but it IS what the room looks like

I didn't doze off and I didn't go all zen and shit but I did do mindfulness and focused on my breathing and the sensation of the water which was lovely.  I'm not sure if it was all the magnesium in the water but I found that I REALLY needed to stretch.  "Righto" I thought "if my body is telling me to stretch then I will".  It was very cool doing stretches in super buoyant water.  Suddenly I heard 3 knocks which indicated the end of the hour so I slowly rose up like a fluro white dugong and stepped back out of my tomb.

The water felt all weird &  slimy but after having a really hot shower my skin felt AMAZING.

I thought that I would feel all sleepy afterwards but I found the opposite.  I felt quite energised.

Would I FLOAT again?  

Probably not.  I mean I am really glad I tried it and I was very proud of myself for doing something 'scary'. For me, I prefer a nice massage.

Would I recommend FLOATING to others?

I can totally see how people could really become 'addicted' to floating.
It is relaxing as all get out.  This world is bloody noisy and a sensory overload and I think having a break from all of that is great.
The Big Fella (my husband) LOVED it and will be back for sure.

I liked that Float at Lutwyche was a floating ROOM and not one of those pods.
I don't think I would have gone into a pod.  That would be a bit too Matrix for me.

You should totally try FLOAT.

Vicki rating 4 out of 5 stars

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Bad Manners at The Triffid.

My wonderful, sweet amazing husband bought me a ticket to see Bad Manners at The Triffid.

Bad Manners are one of my all time FAVOURITE bands but more importantly they are one of my all time favourite bands to see LIVE.

Visualise about 300 skin heads, rude boys and girls,  punks and average punters all bouncing up and down, arms around each other's shoulders, laughing & singing along to "My Girl Lollipop".
I mean some of these blokes look bloody hard core. 
The fun atmosphere at a ska gig just cannot be beat.

I took along my faux son Tom who was super excited to go as well.

The Triffid is just such a freaking great venue and I was really really happy when I read they would be playing there. The last time I saw BM it was at The Step Inn which was TINY and not much chop.

One thing that I LOVE about going to see old school ska bands like BM is just how friendly the people are that go.  Tom & I grabbed a bite to eat before the show & the table full of rudies next to us just struck up a conversation and soon we were all talking music & shows. 
(turns out they had flown down from Darwin to see the show).  

The first band was the Sunny Coast Rude Boys. HOLY SHIT. They were just incredible. So tight and they played heaps of "ska greatest hits" from Madness & The Specials etc. I would have been happy to watch just them all night. I cannot wait to go and see one of their shows up the Sunshine Coast one day.  The crowd LOVED them & it was obvious they were having a great time themselves.

Sunny Coast Rude Boys
Next up were The Funaddicts, a Brissy ska band that has been around forever. 
The crowd was starting to move closer to the stage now 
(not me, I was up the front right from the get go).  
Again, a great fun band. I must admit, the lead singer reminded me of my Dad 
(this is not a bad thing).  My calf muscles were already starting to burn from skanking. 

The Funaddicts
Then, it was time for the (not so) big man himself.  Now normally at a Bad Manners gig the crowd will start chanting "You Fat Bastard You Fat Bastard!!!" before the band comes out - but Buster (the lead singer) has now lost about 100 kg and he isn't really fat anymore so when some people tried to start the chant the crowd just wasn't into it.  
It was strange because normally that is like a part of the show. But nup.

Then out he came. The mega tongued slimmed down bastard himself and the crowd LOST ITS SHIT.  I was literally front row centre and when the inevitable surge forward came I was braced and ready.  As always they didn't disappoint. Buster's mic kept dropping out which was a piss off but he kept going.  I felt that his voice wasn't so good but no matter, as the crowd did a lot of the singing for him.  I was all smiles and singing at the top of my lungs and trying to bop around as much as I could in the 5cm of space I had.


Then the crowd of young-uns behind us started to get a little bit too 'enthusiastic'. 
There were two 20 something skinhead lads who decided that EVERYBODY should be in a mosh pit instead of skanking and having a good time. It very quickly escalated into a stack of very agro shoving and jumping on to unsuspecting punters (like me). 

Now, I except a bit of push & shove at these gigs but this group weren't interested in the band AT ALL. They just wanted argy bargy. I had to laugh at 3 guys who looked like the Bondi Hipsters chanting "skin head skin head skin head" in their buttoned up chambray shirts, full heads of hair and sockless kmart kung-fu shoes.

I started getting really shitty because dammit I was TRYING to dance & watch the band and this one "skinhead" who had watched Romper Stomper too many times kept smashing into me and at one stage clashed his head into mine and I saw stars.

Well, the angry Mz Vicki came out and so did my pointy elbows and my VERY un-ladylike language.
The other more "mature" ladies next to me did the same and in slightly more direct terms told these blokes to "please calm down & stop pushing us". (we actually screamed "FUCK OFF AND STOP PUSHING US YOU HIPSTER FUCKHEADS). Of course, they looked at us like we were idiot pensioners and continued their assault. My poor ribs were crushed into the stage.  
I kept motioning to the band to try & get security in there but alas.

The final straw was when a young weedy looking skinhead who was covered in tattoos of guns (so tough * face palm* geez) tried to do an AFL mark up the lady next to me & my backs to get onto stage. Even though he was slippery like an eel with sweat we grabbed him & hauled him back & told him to "please go away and stop being silly". 
(We actually screamed in his face to FUCK OFF YOU DICKHEAD).
He grinned and ran around the side of the stage & walked onto stage anyway.
I have NO IDEA where security was during this gig but it was pretty shit.  One young gal behind me fell to the ground and the young skins nearly stomped her.

Enough was enough and I was OUTTA THERE so I quickly elbowed my way through the crowd to the cool space up the back to finish the show.

The other thing  I was really excited about was, that this time Bad Manners had merchandise!! 
For some reason in previous shows they haven't had any.  
I couldn't decide which T-shirt to buy so gosh darn it I had to buy both!!!

Even though there were a couple of wankers it still didn't spoil the night for me.  It is impossible NOT to have a good time at a ska gig and I got to meet a heap of really great friendly people.

Sure, I might have to duck into Terry White to get some osteo-panadol and some Deep heat because my hips & calves aren't what they used to be but it was so worth it.