Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Money Can't buy you Happiness but it does Bring you a more Pleasant form of Misery.- Spike Milligan

As I stumble down the path of my life I quite often step on a patch of bindies.
Even though I come across as being a total vintage glamour queen of outstanding comedic & craft skills, it may horrify you to know that I actually have a rather low self-esteem.
I have this pathetic habit of COMPARING MYSELF TO OTHERS.
In the outer realms of my soggy grey matter I am bitterly aware that this is utterly ridiculous and that everybody is unique and has their own shit going on.
Too often I look at the goings-on of you crazy kids on Flakebook and think silly silly things like
Why can't I have rooms filled with awesome vintage frocks?
Why can't I travel all over the place & go to all this awesome events?
Why can't I be filled with super human motivation when it comes to exercise?
Why can't I look freakin glamourous all the time?
Why can't I be fit & thin like her?
Look at all her amazing vintage hair barettes and bakerlite bangles.. sigh.
And so it goes on..........
This is a habit that I am working hard to break.  This whole 1950s vintage-style living thing can sometimes put alot of pressure on a girl.  I must admit that when I was with my ex I felt that I was under ALOT of pressure to wear the exactly right clothes, hair done exactly right and heaven fucking forbid I didn't own a lucite handbag. Luckily my current hubby (hahahah I sound like Zsa Zsa) loves me just the way I am (even in my Best N Less tracky daks with no makeup) and so I no longer feel inclined to be 'frocked up' all the time and have now 'let myself go' to a degree.
I look at photos of the big rockabilly festival at Ballarat and the pics of the pin-up competitions and feel like even though I want to go, I am NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Everybody just looks too amazing.
I remember the first time I went to Viva Las Vegas rockabilly weekender about 12 years ago.
I ascended the escalator into the main room in my modest vintage cotton frock, took one look at all the girls with their literally TOP TO TOE bull-shit rare incredible Shaheen / bakerlite/ lucite / vintage everything and ran back to my room crying.
It's very intimidating. Even for a gal who has been in 'the scene' for quite a while I can tell you that the feeling of being judged never quite leaves. 
I don't give a shit as much as I used to.
I didn't write this blog to fish for compliments. I try to make an effort when I go out and I love to wear vintage & do my hair & make up.  I don't do this to impress anyone though.
I do it because it is WHO I AM.
If you see me at a gig & it appears that I am stand offish or even a tad aloof I can reassure you that I am the most UNpretentious person in the universe.
Come & say Hi.
If I don't remember your name, I'm sorry but my brain isn't very good at retaining stuff n things sometimes.
I think that my gift to the world is my sense of humour and my honesty.
If I can make someone smile than I am happy.


  1. You make me smile! (and cry a little bit too). Thank you for adopting my craziness into your life and letting me learn just how beautiful you are. I am proud as punch to be able to genuinely call you a friend Mz Vicki. xxx

  2. Well I for one think you are gorgeous... your look is so great, and you seem to suit vintage wear so well.
    keep up the good work, and never let anyone say your not the part due to xy and z - cos I think you totes are ;)

  3. OMG Vicki....lightbulb moment!!! I am a god damn fish!!! It's probably just the dehydration and meds talking, but yeah...I am totally a fish. I ranted about it and talked about this post on my blog here -

  4. I look at you and think the same things as you think about others!!! I think to myself, how is she so brave to die her hair gorgeous pastel hair, while I hide with my natural mousey coloured hair too worried about being judged. How is she so cute, and funny, and vintage? How come she has to go about her to go to sewing lessons, and actively try to be healthy and have such amazing friends, while I sit around and whine.

    We're all wonderful though. We just have to not compare ourselves to others. We're all unique.

  5. Well Mz Vicki you always make me smile, I'm a complete stranger (also did 12wbt), almost like a stalker lol who just follows your post - one day I will get the courage to "show up" to a group session and I promise I come and say hi :) in the mean time.....carry on and keep posting you rock!

  6. Sista,
    you brighten up my world every time you blog, and no matter why you blogged this or what is happening in your world, be sure that there are others who hang off your every word and photo, and who wish we were you. I feel truely fortunate to have come across you in this weirdy cybery strange place, and hope you never stop being my inspiration.


    Note to others, no money was exchanged for these nice words...... Although I should charge!!!!!!!!!

  7. I'm glad I came across your blog ages ago - and I love your style. You rock!! :)

  8. Awww fanks everyone. I REALLY appreciate your comments they make me feel all warm & funky in me gutz. xoxoxoxoxo
    If I could grab you all & hug you I would. It would only be slightly awkward & mildly sexual I promise.