Monday, August 26, 2013

Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies.

Well my break didn't last very long did it?
 
What do you think of my new look blog?
All floral n shit with fancy instagram scrolling piccy thingy.
Ooooooo So frou-frou. I even worked out how to reply individually to your comments!
 
Well I've got to tell you... the last two weeks have been.... in one word....

FUCKED
 
FUCKED WITH A BIG CAPITAL F
 


I'm not going to go into it in great details but to sum it up:

My Mummsy got really really crook & got rushed to hospital (she is at home & recovering now)

TBF's family received some terrible terrible sad family news.

Then I got the totally shitfull coughing flu where you simply cannot sleep because as soon as you lie down you start hacking up your lungs until you are literally dry retching over the toilet bowl & you start believing that your guts will any moment come shooting out of your throat.
I also lost all dignity as the persistent evil coughing caused a weakening in my pelvic floor & I had to start wearing Poise at night. Oh the humanity.
Turns out I have bronchitis. In the words of the new Oprah, Sweet Brown "Ain't Nobody Got Time Fer Dat!".

Thankfully the horrific hacking from my swollen bronchis has abated but I am still feeling a wee bit like warmed up crud.

Frickin typical. I signed up for the 12wbt & I haven't been able to start!
I SHOULD be starting on Monday fingers crossed.

I've had enough time now to get my brain back into gear & I am ready to start boring the pants off you with tales of my shenanigans again.



Have you checked out my new page WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT (at the top) ?
Funnily enough it explains what my blog is all about!!
 
REMEMBER:
I'm always after feedback of what you would like me to blog about and what I can do to improve my blog. My humungus earlobes are waiting for your call.
 
I've missed yawl.
xoxoxoxoxox

Monday, August 19, 2013

I'll be back




Howdy my wonderful blog readers!

I have decided to have a bit of a hiatus from blogging for a while.

I have a lot of crazy personal stuff happening at the moment and I just need to focus on myself & my family for awhile.

I'm going to do a bit of a Homer Simpson & head out into the desert to find my spirit guide. I would like to think mine would take the form of a Slow Loris or a capybara wearing a bandana.



Don't worry though it won't be long I'm sure and I will be back in your inbox rambling on with all matter of inane shit.

Thanks for being so cool.


I'll see yawl soon.

xoxoxoxox



Monday, August 12, 2013

GREAZEFEST 2013

Before it all went pear-shaped in Stickyville TBF & I went to our super mega awesome annual event..
GREAZEFEST!!!!
This year there was none of that namby pambying around... we went the whole hog & got the WHOLE WEEKEND PASS.
Yep Friday night, Saturday, Saturday night AND (inhale) Sunday (exhale).
If you have been living in a cave in the hills of Nimbin you may not have heard of Greazefest.
Well, it is only a massive weekend of craploads of bullshit awesome rockabilly bands, incredible jaw-dropping cars, market stalls of all sorts of retro (kinda) inspired things & stuff, fashion parades featuring models so gorgeous you start foaming like a ferret with rabies AND a whole bunch of crazy cool peeps both new & old.
For more info check out the web page:  http://www.greazefest.com/

While the whole 'retro' repro pin-up victory roll thang isn't MY cup of Earl Grey and frankly some of the outfits leave me scratching my head as to where they got their inspiration from & what 'look' they were going for, I love Greazefest for two things.
 
THE MUSIC AND TALKING SHIT WITH COOL PEOPLE.

I am there to catch up with friends, to meet new friends & to listen to the best rockabilly bands in Australia. Greazefest isn't a VINTAGE event. It is a music event with other stuff.
The stalls aren't my bag so guess what??? I don't go there. I'm not really into the cars so I don't look at them.
If you don't like something then only focus on what you DO like. (sorry about the rant but some negative people out there give me the shits)

The Stunning & super talented Elisse
FRIDAY NIGHT HIGHLIGHT

Getting my hair done by the exquisite beautiful Elisse of The Beauty Case on the Friday night. I had a vision of me looking IDENTICAL to the character Joan Holloway on Mad Men. So more of an early 1960s vibe.  OMG MY HAIR WAS FAB-U-LOUS!!!!!!
I look EXACTLY the same as Christine Hedricks (except for her figure, eye colour and height)

The Divine Billie



 
SATURDAY HIGHLIGHT : MODELLING Freddies of Pinewood for Western Wac
 
ERMEGHERD I was so flattered to be asked to model for the Vendors Fashion Parade.
I am a HUGE fan of the brand Freddies of Pinewood AND I lurve the shop Western Wac so it was my honour.  We decided (ok I kind of insisted) that I be a tough biker chick.
I was more of a giggly silly biker but I still had heaps of fun. They almost had to drag me off the stage! You can find the Western Wac shop in the Wooloongabba Antique Centre.
(Thank you to Say Cheesecake Photography for snapping these awesome pics )
 

 
 
SATURDAY NIGHT HIGHLIGHT: THE PALADINS & CATCHING UP WITH A STACK OF SUPER RAD SUPER STYLISH PEOPLE.
 
I love love love The Paladins from the USA. They are a sort of rockabilly/blues band. I saw them 500 million years ago at The Waterloo Hotel.  They were still brilliant.
My outfit for the Saturday night was inspired by a wagon-load of vintage western gals like Dale Evans, Patsy Cline & Sally Starr. I totally ADORE vintage western wear & as soon as I saw that Western Wac had a Rockmount  Ranch Wear tasselled red cowdie shirt I just HAD to have it.
Then I busted out the ole Brother 2000 machine & whipped myself up a matching skirt.
(ok I didn't just WHIP it up... it was a nightmare... but I got there in the end)
YEEEHARRRRRRRR
Another of my man crushes Mitch

I LOVE TBF's photobomb in this!
I got to meet the simply beautiful Emma who reads this blog!
SUNDAY HIGHLIGHTS:  EVERYTHING
 
By Sunday I was super knackered & frankly couldn't be stuffed getting all gussied up & so I went for a casual look.  We quickly snavelled a table & made that our home base for the day.
What a day! Chatting chatting chatting. laughing laughing laughing. groping groping. hugging hugging. talking talking. yawning yawning.
It was so brilliant to catch up with a heap of friends I haven't seen in ages but also to meet new exciting funny people that by the end of the day I felt like I had known for ever.


 
Thank GOODNESS TBF & I had the common sense this year to take the Monday off work.
My throat was so sore from so much talking and we were SOOOOOO tired!
And what better way to round off with a super yummo feast at Guzman Y Gomez in The Valley where we gorged ourselves senseless on burritos & nachos!
-------------------------------------------------------
Thank you so much to Lori Lee of Robot Productions and her amazing staff of volunteers for putting on the best rockabilly music event EVER!
We can't WAIT for next year !!!!
TOTAL HORNBAGS
 
HERE COMES TROUBLE
 

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Life's a Piece of Shit When you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. - The Life of Brian



Hi everybody.  Well if you are on my Facebook or WW community page you would have read that TBF & I's IVF was unsuccessful.  On Wednesday I wasn't feeling too crash hot and by Thursday morning (3am thank you very much) I was in quite a bit of pain.
I rang Dr Smith who confirmed my worst fears.  It was over.

It's funny.  Ok it's not FUNNY har har. But funny in that I was almost relieved. Not relieved that I didn't get pregnant but relieved that it was over.
The waiting.

Oh sure TBF & I were very sad and frankly more than a bit shitted off but at least we now know.
No kiddies for us.
I think that this time we really went into the whole IVF bizzo with a totally different point of view.
We were better prepared emotionally for both outcomes.
Yes, it does make us want to punch walls when we see the wanker mums at Kippa-Ring feeding their little tots flippin Mother softdrink while blowing their Horizon Ultra mild into their newborns face while screaming at their shoeless infant to 'hurry the fuck up ya little shit' BUT.....

I don't know WHY God/Allah/Buddah/The Great A'tuin/The Universe/Charlie the Unicorn has decided in his/her/it's infinite wisdom NOT to give TBF & I a child and frankly I don't want to know.
I have nothing against grieving & feeling bad & swearing at the sky but I HATE wallowing in self pity. It must be in my Oakey raisin' .
Fuckin' shake it off. Stop ya snivvellin'. Harden Up. Stop ya sookin'. Brush yaself off  and just
GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT.

I have to admit that I did try to find some sort of reasoning & answers in the one place where a person is guaranteed to find solace and peace.  No not the bible.
PINTEREST.
I headed straight for the Quotes page. Surely CS Lewis, Oscar Wilde, Oprah or Dr Phil must have some shred of poetic meaning of life for me.
I was confronted with gag inducing pictures of butterflies. Pastel coloured images of dandelions & Labrador puppies with the words "Live in the Sunshine. Swim in the Sea. Drink the Wild Air" typed over.
OMG GET ME A BUCKET.
"Life is about using the Whole box of Crayons" ERRRGGGG VOMIT.
And the king of ALL quotes "Keep Calm and Carry On". JESUS WEPT!!

Yes I am harsh. I blame my parents. I was raised on a steady diet of Monty Python, Marmalade Atkins & Kenny Everett. None of that fancy stuff for us. Steakettes were considered a luxury & so was any ice-cream other than vanilla. We went through about 10 cats in the first 10 years of my life so we learnt very early about life & death. I guess it made me a bit HARD.

So finally, after surfing the blessed internet for more answers I finally find a couple that really have helped me emotionally and are more my style.  Grumpy Cat has ALL the answers.



TBF & I want to thank everybody who have sent us messages & comments of support, prayed & sent warm fuzzy positive vibes into my uterus. I guess Mr Sticky had other plans.
TBF & I will be A.O.K. We have each other's big Bert Newton head's to look at and a shitload of super grouse friends & family to share our lives with.

I shall be throwing myself face first into getting as fit as all get out. I've signed up to do the next Round of Michelle Bridges 12wbt which starts tomorrow. I joined the gym. Bought myself some totally bitching new runners and some weird funky Skins-like pants that make me look like a shiny black anaconda that has swallowed a boar.



I'm not sure what the future has in store for us but by God/Allah/Buddha/Great A'Tuin we are freaking ready
xoxoxoxoxo