Saturday, August 10, 2013
Life's a Piece of Shit When you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. - The Life of Brian
Hi everybody. Well if you are on my Facebook or WW community page you would have read that TBF & I's IVF was unsuccessful. On Wednesday I wasn't feeling too crash hot and by Thursday morning (3am thank you very much) I was in quite a bit of pain.
I rang Dr Smith who confirmed my worst fears. It was over.
It's funny. Ok it's not FUNNY har har. But funny in that I was almost relieved. Not relieved that I didn't get pregnant but relieved that it was over.
Oh sure TBF & I were very sad and frankly more than a bit shitted off but at least we now know.
No kiddies for us.
I think that this time we really went into the whole IVF bizzo with a totally different point of view.
We were better prepared emotionally for both outcomes.
Yes, it does make us want to punch walls when we see the wanker mums at Kippa-Ring feeding their little tots flippin Mother softdrink while blowing their Horizon Ultra mild into their newborns face while screaming at their shoeless infant to 'hurry the fuck up ya little shit' BUT.....
I don't know WHY God/Allah/Buddah/The Great A'tuin/The Universe/Charlie the Unicorn has decided in his/her/it's infinite wisdom NOT to give TBF & I a child and frankly I don't want to know.
I have nothing against grieving & feeling bad & swearing at the sky but I HATE wallowing in self pity. It must be in my Oakey raisin' .
Fuckin' shake it off. Stop ya snivvellin'. Harden Up. Stop ya sookin'. Brush yaself off and just
GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT.
I have to admit that I did try to find some sort of reasoning & answers in the one place where a person is guaranteed to find solace and peace. No not the bible.
I headed straight for the Quotes page. Surely CS Lewis, Oscar Wilde, Oprah or Dr Phil must have some shred of poetic meaning of life for me.
I was confronted with gag inducing pictures of butterflies. Pastel coloured images of dandelions & Labrador puppies with the words "Live in the Sunshine. Swim in the Sea. Drink the Wild Air" typed over.
OMG GET ME A BUCKET.
"Life is about using the Whole box of Crayons" ERRRGGGG VOMIT.
And the king of ALL quotes "Keep Calm and Carry On". JESUS WEPT!!
Yes I am harsh. I blame my parents. I was raised on a steady diet of Monty Python, Marmalade Atkins & Kenny Everett. None of that fancy stuff for us. Steakettes were considered a luxury & so was any ice-cream other than vanilla. We went through about 10 cats in the first 10 years of my life so we learnt very early about life & death. I guess it made me a bit HARD.
So finally, after surfing the blessed internet for more answers I finally find a couple that really have helped me emotionally and are more my style. Grumpy Cat has ALL the answers.
TBF & I want to thank everybody who have sent us messages & comments of support, prayed & sent warm fuzzy positive vibes into my uterus. I guess Mr Sticky had other plans.
TBF & I will be A.O.K. We have each other's big Bert Newton head's to look at and a shitload of super grouse friends & family to share our lives with.
I shall be throwing myself face first into getting as fit as all get out. I've signed up to do the next Round of Michelle Bridges 12wbt which starts tomorrow. I joined the gym. Bought myself some totally bitching new runners and some weird funky Skins-like pants that make me look like a shiny black anaconda that has swallowed a boar.
I'm not sure what the future has in store for us but by God/Allah/Buddha/Great A'Tuin we are freaking ready