Thursday, November 2, 2017

You’re trying to escape from your difficulties, and there never is any escape from difficulties, never. They have to be faced and fought.” - Enid Blyton

FORTY FIVE

FORTY

FIVE

How the hell did I suddenly become 45 years old?

I'm not going to lie to you.  The last 35 years has not been plain sailing. 
No sir.  

My first 10 years were pretty fricking great. Climbing trees pretending to be living with Moon Face in the Faraway Tree, building cubby houses, reading insane amounts of Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl and Choose your Own Adventure Books, riding my bike and swimming.  
ALWAYS swimming at the Oakey Pool.
It all went kind of pear shaped around the age of 13.

 "Vicki on Xmas Day 1980. 8 years old. new togs and roller skates".


Of course it hasn't been ALL BAD. There has been some amazing adventures in my life. 
I wish I could remember more of them but alas, a diet that was mainly based on wine, cigarettes and bourbon has destroyed a vast amount of my long term memory.  All I can say is , thank god there was no social media or digital cameras.

My life definitely improved around 5 years ago when I gave up the turps for good. No more panic attacks of hyperventilating until I pass out and no more hallucinations and self harm.

HOWEVER



The last 2 years has been a struggle for this old blonde gal.  I worked in a job that was just utterly ridiculous in its treatment of staff when it came to work loads, pressures, bullying and gas lighting.
12 months of crying in the toilets, self harm, thinking I was going crazy (again) and eventually thoughts of suicide lead me to quit with no job to go to.  
This was something I have NEVER done.
I have always been of the mind set that you shut up, suck it up, stop ya whinging and get on with it.  
But it was too late. 
It completely destroyed my self esteem and sent my anxiety levels off the charts!
Couple this with seeing my father very quickly decline with dementia and then his death and now the guilt associated with "could I have done more?"

I very quickly got another job but unbelievably was fired after only a week because "I wasn't a good fit."
That was kind of the last straw for any self-love I may have had left and I fell inwards.



After about a month (and the incredible support of my husband, family and friends) I pulled myself up out of bed, whacked on some red lipstick and made a decision.

To study to work in Aged Care.  I enrolled and have started doing a Cert IV in Ageing Support with a view to work with dementia and eventually be a Diversional Therapist.
I am absolutely shitting myself. I have NO idea if I have made the right decision but at least I am heading in a direction.

After applying for numerous jobs (in the interim until my course and prac is finished ) and not even getting to interview stage OR worse getting to interview stage and not getting the job (even though I though I was a shoe in each time) I found that my nerves and self-esteem were just fucked. So the decision was made for me to take an extended break from working while I do my course, to focus on my study and to focus on ME.


It's funny.  Being 45.

I feel very odd.  Like I am floating.  I always knew who I was.  
I would go out all the time. Get frocked up. Dance. Party. 
I was a vintage rockabilly girl.
I feel like I am losing her.  
Like I don't feel like I FIT IN anymore.
I look at the gals on Instagram with their perfect vintage hair sets, tiny waists and incredible clothes and then look at myself.  I have gained a massive amount of weight, have chronic undiagnosed pain and rarely go out anymore because "I can't be arsed".
It's like I don't know who I am anymore.

BUT



I am not one to wallow in self-pity. Each day I make baby steps.  
I will NOT compare myself to the Instagram people (who I KNOW spent hours perfecting that look before taking 5000 photos before settling on that one).
 I will eat healthy food.  
I have started aqua aerobics again because the water is where I love to be.  
I will keep sewing a crazy amount of frocks that I may never wear just for the shear joy of CREATING.   
I have started to create an environment of greenery by buying pot plants to put around my house.  
I am listening to inspirational podcasts.  
I am LOVING doing my course and even though I am anxious about how I am going to go working in such a challenging job I know that I am a good person who will try my best.   

I don't know who I am at the moment.

But that's ok.

I'm Mz Vicki.

I'm Alive.

I am totally blessed to be surrounded by wonderful people.

I am grateful.

I am strong.


Monday, October 9, 2017

Look at her. She looks like she washes her hair in streams and milks things. - Black Books



KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

I open the door and there is a youngish man from some courier company with a largish box in hands.

"Sign here" he mumbles.

He is barely down the steps when I eagerly slash into the box like a crazed killer from an Eighties horror film.  

They have arrived.  

Spotlight Stores have ever so generously sent me a big box of the new range of the International Sewing Starlet Gretchen Hirsch's (aka Gertie) fabric line. 

I hold the fabric to my heaving chest and stifle a sob of joy.  So much loveliness.
I whisper "Welcome Home". 


I decided that my first frock make from the pile of divines should be a Hawaiian rayon frock due to the fact that I will get heaps of wear from it because of our unbearable fucking horrid humid bullshit summer/spring/autumn heat.
I wanted something flouncy and light so I chose this fake wrap dress from Simplicity.



I will say it was an easy to intermediate pattern to make and the advice I would give to anyone making this is WATCH THE SIZING. I followed the sizing on the pattern and still had to take it in 2 inches on EACH SIDE.  The end result though, was great.

Gertie's rayons are just wonderful and soft but still have enough weight in them to give a beautiful drape.  The tropical hibiscus & pineapple print is super bright and again, suits a Queensland summer.
I am a sucker for anything with those fluttery sleeves, especially because of the ole 'tuckshop' arm thing, plus they are comfy 
(which as I'm getting older seems to be becoming more & more important).



The perfect accessory - hair flower from Kat's Cadillac Vintage

I couldn't wait to wear my new creation so I was stoked when the bullshit amazing Rewind Mid-Century at Shorncliffe announced that they were having a huge garage sale.  Because of my insane sewing & clothes buying addiction I have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many clothes to sell and they agreed to let me have a stand. 


Holy moley the sale was MASSIVE and I reckon about 300 people came through the doors in the first 2 hours alone!!   I sold a fair bit of stuff but to be honest I had a great day just drinking coffee and chatting to the punters coming through. 
I met a STACK of great people and even added a couple to my FB and Instagrams to stay in touch!  I had a great pozzy out of the sun and with a frigging glorious breeze off the water.
There was so much AMAZING things for sale and all for great prices. 

I told myself that I was banned from buying ANYTHING!
BUT
then I saw this 4 metres of new hawaain rayon for only $20.
Seriously, it would have been CRIMINAL to just LEAVE it there!


After the sale was over I wandered over to the main shop.
If you are into Mid-Century Modern and you haven't been to Rewind you need your head read. First time visitors, be prepared to hyperventilate upon entering the main doors.
If I won lotto and had a lovely open plan home I would just go straight into Rewind and go 
"I'll take THAT THAT THAT THAT THAT THAT THAT & THAT OH & THAT".
or
I could just LIVE at Rewind.
Holy shit. So much incredible amazing beautiful pieces.

I REALLY wanted the concrete cockatoo




I managed to snaggle Collette the boss-lady to take some snazzy pics of me in my fancy frock posing against various incredible furniture pieces.
I liked sitting on the lounges and pretending for a moment that I was in my ultimate dream home.




I got a lot of compliments on the dress which was noice.  This pattern will definitely be going into my 'Will Sew Again" drawer.
I am super excited to have been chosen by Spotties to trial the awesome Gertie fabrics and I am already onto frock #2 which will be a sexy little number made from cotton sateen navy with pinky/red roses. 
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo



If there are any OTHER fabric companies out there who would like to send me samples of fabric and have me make them up into something fabulous just contact me.
Just sayin'
hint hint fabric.com



Rewind Mid Century - Sinbad St, Shorncliffe






Sunday, September 17, 2017

Fancy Dress Disco supporting beyondblue 2017


WELL ROLL ME IN HUNDREDS & THOUSANDS 
AND CALL ME SHIRLEY....

Geez September rolls around bloody quick.

And September means.............

THE ANNUAL FANCY DRESS DISCO supporting beyondblue
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



This is my 4th Fancy Dress Disco for beyondblue and I just have to say that each year it just gets better and better.

As some of you know I have The Bipolar and so awareness and raising money for an organisation that does so much to help people with mental illness, depression and anxiety gets me right in the feels.



It also helps that I frickin' LURVE getting dressed up in crazy wacky outfits and dancing like a man wrestling a snake in a phone box to all my favourite retro tunes. 
 Add to this my obsession with all things sewing and well, 
it is my FUNNEST night of the year.



This year Club Greenslopes once again stepped up to provide the host venue. 
Will, Lance and all the staff are just so lovely and the room itself ticks all the boxes for what the disco needs (huge arse dancefloor, funky flashing lights, fairy lights and a stage for me flaunt my shit on and show off on)



So many utterly BRILLIANT people/businesses donated heaps of great goods to be raffled off.  From incredible art to skin and hair care products to pin up glam goods to life coaching session....
Sure, it might give me the shits that I couldn't win the $1000 Flight Centre voucher or the $100 Lush gift boxes but I'm just happy that other people won them
 *smiles very very very wide*. (kidding)



As usual, my "commiddy" of rapscallions, misfits and oddballs were my saving grace as I had bitten my fingernails past the quick and was contemplating moving on to my toe nails. Honestly, if it weren't for them I would be balled up in a corner somewhere whimpering " I can't do it. No one will come. What if? What if What if??.  They grab me by the shoulders, slap my face, shake me and then hug me. They also take care of the raffles and the door on the night & help blow up all the balloons (ok so they probably inhale more helium than what goes into the balloons) AND help me clean up at the end of the night. They are fucking awesome.




This year I chose to go as Effie Trinkett from movie The Hunger Games.  I'm not a big HG fan BUT I am a big fan of the costumes of Effie in the movie and so in true Vicki style I chose the most stressful hardest outfit to make.  The Reaping outfit.   I used a utterly STUNNING *cough* 1980's bridal dress patttern.  The top is a fushia cotton sateen & the skirt is corderoy. In the movie she wears silly black high heels. I have feet flatter than Donald Duck and can't wear a heel higher than about 2mm so I found the PERFECT colour match in a pair of awesome granny slippers from Kmart. 5 BUCKS. THANK YOU.  Then I had to buy the wig & make the huge arse flower. (Huge arse hair flower was from the Bargain Shop for $5 and spray painted).
Besides the fact that I am about 2 metres shorter and wider than Elizabeth Banks who plays Effie I think I pulled the look off pretty good.



Each year the effort and creativity that people put into their costumes just blows me away.  I feel truly grateful that they embrace the fun of the night.  There are just TOO many photos for me to put on here but these are some of my favourite costumes of the night.
TO SEE MORE OF THE COSTUMES GO TO THE WEBPAGE:












-==========================================
BEST INDIVIDUAL COSTUME WINNER Kate as PRINCESS FIONA
THANK YOU TO WILD THING CREATIONS FOR CREATING & MAKING THE TROPHIES
BEST GROUP COSTUME WINNERS Karen & Travis as Little Red Riding Hood & The Big Bad Wolf
THANK YOU TO WILD THING CREATIONS FOR CREATING & MAKING THE TROPHIES
On the Monday after the event I felt that I could finally put my full weight on my legs after dancing, bopping around, running to & fro and doing little jigs for about 8 hours straight -  to heave my arse out of bed to count the money .

I was so happy to announce that the night raised a total of  
$3625 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO CONTRIBUTED. 
Those of you who came along, those who donated money, those who donated prizes and those of you who shared it on social media to help make it such a successful fun happy night.



To see ALL the photos taken by Phill's Kustom Photography go to:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/v8ye8whzxnd7uta/AAD20BBqlIyPNo_nyeSxaQUaa?dl=0



FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT BEYONDBLUE GO TO: