Friday, November 9, 2018

We're Not gonna sit Silence. We're not gonna live in Fear - John Farnham

"Oh Shit Mick. Why do I have 5 missed calls from Anna on my phone?"

We had just been out for dinner with work and I had turned my phone off to concentrate on pretending to be a normal human being in front of my boss and his boss at the Teppanyaki restaurant.
I quickly jump on Facey B's and face timed Mz Anna.
"Mz Vicki!!!" Mz Anna wails "Our 7.30am flight has been cancelled!!!!!!"
"No no no no no nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I over dramatically wail back.

You see, we had been invited to Sydney for the Halloween party to end all Halloween parties. 
A once in a life time opportunity.  
My darlink friend Joy's daughter hosts a Halloween party each year in Sydney and they are fucking epic. They are the reason I jumped on her coat tails and decided to host my own (PC rated) version here.  Word on the street is this party is infamous for its INCREDIBLE over the top decorations and costumes. Most of the people invited work in the movie industry in costuming, props and animation. To say I was excited to be invited is a massive understatement...
and now "Big Cat" Airlines was putting a claw into my plans.

Luckily, I have lightning typing skills and I quickly booked on the 6 am flight with the ladies but this time with Qantas. OK so it ate into my spending money a bit but shit happens right?
"OK All systems are go Anna" I messaged "I'm booked on the 6 am flight too".
"6 am? I said 6.30!!" Anna responds.
"Bloody hell. OK so I'm on the flight before you by myself. No biggie. At least we are going".

My flight to Sydney was quick but the gorgeous air hosties loved my vintage style *flicks hair* and I ended up standing up the front with them chatting about my quick trip, sewing and how I NEVER do things like this". 
We land and I wait to be the last off the plane unlike all the other crazed passengers who looked like they had just been told the plane was going to explode in 2 minutes the way they scrambled to hurry off.   I ambled off with my leopard print over night bag *another hair flick* in tow.
I stopped at the hostesses and asked for a selfie with them because they were so totes cool.
They obliged and them one of them whispers "quick come with me".
I love an adventure so I snuck with her into the kitchen area. She then opened my bag and stelthely crammed in 3 mini bottles of champers darling. "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" she giggled.
What a darlin!!!

After waiting in the coffee shop for half an hour my travel companions arrived and we were now HERE!!!
We stayed in the Crown Hotel Surry Hills which was lovely and only a stones throw from where the partay was going to be held.   We had a couple of hours to kill and so we went and had breakie and then went for a walk around the streets of Surry Hills.  Gorgeous place with all those terrace houses that are worth gazzillions.  I do love a good stroll and the weather was just lovely for it.
Kim's phone rings and the hotel tells us that we can now get into our rooms but they need to speak to Vicki about her credit card.
My credit card?

We get to the hotel and they tell me that they have tried to put through the payment for the room but my card has declined.
"ummmmm I paid for the room when I booked it 2 months ago" I stammer.
"Oh no. We just get you to put in your card details but we don't take the money out until you get here". They explain.
"Oh fuck" I internally scream.

I thought the money had already come out, but it hadn't and in true Vicki style a couple of weeks later I would have seen this extra money in my bank and thought "Oh Vicki you have been so good at budgeting look at the extra cash we have. LET'S GO BUY SOME FABRIC TO CELEBRATE".
So, I had $100 cash on me to buy dinner and breakie and because of the whole having to buy another flight and Big Cat airlines don't refund straight away, I had $210 in the bank.
I paid the hotel which then left me with $50 to buy dinner, breakkie and drinks at the party.
Jesus Wept.



We walk up the stairs into the function room at Bar Cleveland - 

The room is decorated in the theme of Stephen King with posters of his movies, REDRUM written on the mirrors, red and black balloons, IT staring out from the fire place and a big TV showing a montage of all the Stephen King movies. There was a photo area with the back drop the carpet print from The Shining and the pool table was covered in Halloween candy. 

Our little group (from Brisbane, Sydney & Adelaide) had gone all out - 
Winnie from "Hocus Pocus", The Badadook, Alfred Hichcock and Tippy Hedron from The Birds, A Dead Bride, Sally from "Nightmare Before Christmas", Nicki Manaj, Mrs Slocombe, A foxy Fox, A horror movie cheerleader, ISIS and  and me as a Harajuku Decora girl.

We found a place overlooking the dance floor and it wasn't long before the place was PACKED.

From my vantage point I could look out across the room and see everyone come in. My jaw was aching from being agape for so long!

Below are just SOME of my favourite costumes.

Gozer The Destroyer with Demon Dog from "Ghostbusters"

Patricia Arquette getting eaten by Freddy Kruger in "Nightmare on Elm St 3"

Siegfried and Roy

The Skeksis from "The Dark Crystal"

Strawberries with needles in them

Tonya Harding and LaVona

Ruby Rhod from "The Fifth Element"

Jim Henson and Kermit

After about an hour and a half of gawking it was time to hit the dance-floor.  Gypsy's playlist was brilliant and obviously she has the same taste in music because it was very similar to the one I play at my annual shin-dig. I may have lost my mind when Two-Live Crews "We want Some Pussy" came on.

Now you must forgive me as I am but a country girl from Australia's largest country town of Brisbane, but my last experience with a drag queen was at The Beat in the early nineties where I had to suck the chocolate off a Violet Crumble from between the legs of this divine Queen. 
I don't get out much.
At one stage during the night I was in the middle of the dance floor in my own little world dancing to "Spinning Around" by Kylie when I looked up. I was in the middle of this group of GORGEOUS drag queens that all stood around 6 foot 7 tall dressed as things like Greek goddesses, Freddie Mercury, Cruelle De Ville and Dolly Parton and there is lil old me 5 ft nothing looking like a little kid.
I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.


The entrance of the Skekis - Everyone just STOPPED and applauded, screamed and hollered at these crazy brilliant costumes made my Joy's son. They took him months to make.

Helping Joy 'conduct' the crowd in a Sound of Music sing-a-long to "Do-Re-Mi".

Whenever a song came on that referenced somebody's costume, that person would be thrust into the middle of the dance floor to perform / lip sync. I can say that NO ONE at this party was a shy wall flower and each person threw themselves into the performance - Cher , Freddie Mercury and the chick dressed as Rose from the Titanic complete with door to "My Heart Will Go One".

The Zorba Dance - I quickly exited the dance-floor as everyone formed a circle of flailing legs, glitter and fake blood.

"You're the Voice" by Johnny Farnham.  The whole place sang this song at the top of their lungs, fists punching the air for dramatic effect.  I listened to the lyrics and thought that this song COULD be an anthem for the LGBTIQ community. People were hugging and swaying and the passion and joy emitted in the room just filled me up.

Around midnight our knees and hips decided it was time to head back to the room for a nice cup of tea.
We limped and waddled back, had a cuppa, a nice hot shower and crashed.
Apparently I snored like a drunk bulldog.

Thank you so much to Joy for inviting me and to Gypsy for creating such a wonderful night that brings so much joy and happiness to so many people.

Photos courtesy of me, Joy, Gypsy and Tracey.


What is a Harajuku Decora girl?

Harajuku (原宿) refers to the area around Tokyo's Harajuku Station. It is the center of Japan's most extreme teenage cultures and fashion styles

Decora is a Japanese fashion style also known as "Dekora" or "Decorer". Decora style consists of bright colors, wild hair clips and bows, and tons of layering and accessories. 


Monday, October 15, 2018

When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle

Last blog post - April 2018.

Well stone the flamin' crows and slap a Tim Tam on my arse !!!!

Almost 6 months later I only now feel like my life is starting to calm down and even out to a place where I feel like I'm ready to start wasting people's precious internet time by blogging again.

I'll bring you up to speed shall I ?

Work - I am working back in admin again. It's fantastic. 
I am a data entry/receptionist office dweeb.  I work Mon-Fri 8-3 only about 10 minutes from home. It's right on the waterfront at Scarborough.  It's brilliant. Zero stress. 
I sit in front of a computer entering purchase orders while listening to the best of the 80s and 90s on Easy Hits.  No walk in customers so I can look as slovenly as I want 
(read Millers black pants and no iron smart casual tops)

Health - My latest round of ultra-sounds explain why I didn't continue with my Aged Care dream. 
I have hip bursitis in both hips and dodgy veins in my right leg.  The physical nature of Aged Care just destroyed me. I loved the caring part of the job but carrying wheel chairs, making beds and all the squatting (oh god the squatting. My poor fucking knees) killed me. 
But more about my Aged Care experience later. 
I will be having a cortisone injection in both hips this week. I never in my wildest nightmares thought I would ever be looking forward to someone jabbing a big fucking needle into my squishy bits.  
I also have to wear a gorgeous beige compression stocking on my right leg to stop my cactus very close vein from popping a foofa valve or sumthin.

Finally getting a permanent part-time job with you-beaut working hours, that is less taxing on my ole manky hips and more importantly on my fried el wonko brain has allowed me to get back into the land of the LIVING and socialising again.
Hallefuckinglujah !!!!!

We can finally make plans and DO things again.

I've been able to work with a physiotherapist to get into an exercise program so I now walk for 20 minutes each morning along the waterfront before work (sae noice) and I've rejoined Dolphins gym ("oh fucking hell not again!" I hear you cry). 
No no no I get into the hydrotherapy pool which is a divine 31 degrees (it's like taking a bath in a giant pool that has been filled with Lush chlorine & piss bath bombs)
I do my low impact hip and buttock strengthening exercises while trying to avoid being smacked in the face by little Timnmy's pool noodle.......... while his parents sit on the sidelines, eyes glazed looking into their Samsungs,  not watching how their darling little boy is deliberating bomb diving RIGHT where I am trying to do my 'bike' riding on my noodle. ... 
Give me strength.

My self esteem has taken a big battering over the last 2 years but I now feel like I am on the up and up again.  
Intense arsehole bitch face mole bullying in the workplace 
........ followed by intense stress and pressure doing my Aged Care prac (chuck in some bitch face mole bullying there too) 
.........followed by working in community aged care and the physical and crazy emotional pressures of that,
 ........ to applying for SO many jobs only to be knocked by time and time again 
.......combined with my love/hate relationship with all things stuffed with sugar 
has resulted in a hefty gain on the ole WW bathroom scales. Le Sigh.


I am now back on track and excited for the future.

I have so many exciting adventures ahead of me and I can't wait to share them with you.

I have started compiling a list of sorts. Like a very low key low impact bucket list of interesting things to do. 
No I will NOT be rodeo riding bulls or jumping out of perfectly safe aeroplanes or swimming with irukandji jellyfish.  

I'm thinking more like - Go see a symphony. Go do an art class. Swap full cream chocolate for carob. Ok that last one was taking it too far.  
Shave all my hair off. YES I SHAVED MOST OF MY HAIR OFF. 
(Oh regret)

It feels great to be back behind the keyboard again after such a long break.  
I will be writing about some of the things I've been up to over the past 6 months as there is a lot to tell.

In the words of James Brown 
" I feel good . NANANNANNAAR . I knew that I would now. NANANANANANANA".

Sunday, April 22, 2018

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view - Sophia Loren

This will come as no surprise to you but there are a few things I really love in life:

Eating great food
Drinking bucket loads of good coffee
Talking shit with friends
Getting all gussied up

When I haven't done these things in a while I don't wait for the universe to bring me an opportunity I create my own destiny and go all Oprah 'n' shit and whack together a Facebook event to give me an excuse to do all these things.

My latest I named La Dolce Vita and the theme was LITTLE BLACK DRESS.

After a long discussion over coffee and cake my gorgeous Italian descended diva friends Mz Anna, Mz Carmel and Mz Marianna suggested having the next get together at ANFE Italian Club.  


What can I say?  It was favoloso.

30 of my closest horn- bag vintage loving fashionista dames all sashayed into the restaurant in Newstead looking like something out of a 1950s mafia movie.  
Some of the older male patrons who were playing the Italian card game Scopa on the other side of the room mentioned it looked like a funeral wake of incredibly stylish widows.

The food was DIVINE and I'm happy to say that even though we all LOOKED wonderful we all REEKED of garlic........ and it was AMAZING.

I had the mushroom arancini for entree (I could have eaten about 10 of them they were so good). 
For my main I had the Spaghetti AOP. I still have no idea what AOP means but the meal was SO  good. Filled with garlic and chilli.   I gave up trying to look refined and resorted to just shoveling the pasta in my mouth like ravenous albino hyena flicking olive oil and chilli flakes everywhere.
For dessert I had the pannacotta and fruits. It was delicious and I wanted to lick the glass clean but I'm not a savage so I just stuck my finger into the glass to get every last drop..... like a lady.

I discovered San Pellegrino chinotto which is like a sweet cola drink but it is bitter like it has lemon rind in it. I loved it.  I also had the most delicious affogato with strong espresso coffee with hazelnut gelato. SO GOOD.

Everyone is just so busy with LIFE that time gets away from you so it's just wonderful to get together and have a good old chin-wag and vent. This venue was PERFECT for that as there wasn't a lot of noise so you could hear each other speak.

I am so blessed to have these wonderful supportive and down right sexy broads in my life. 
In my little self indulgent speech I gave I said that even though it might be months between get togethers, it does seem like it was just last week and that even though we may not get to see each other physically, we are always there for each other due to the miracles of modern technology.

Thank you to Maria and all the beautiful staff of the ANFE for the great service and delicious food.


10 Wyandra Street, Newstead
Ph:  3252 2387