Saturday, October 29, 2016


Today I took a big jump out of my comfort zone and decided to try FLOAT at Lutwyche.

"What the hell is a FLOAT ?" I hear you wail

OK so you pay someone to let you float in a tank of  magnesium-based Epsom salts water in complete & utter darkness and silence for an hour.

"Ummmmm okay why?" I hear you stammer.

Well it's meant to zen you the heck out and relax the hell out of your body.

Now, my problem is this....

I have a bad over active imagination.

So instead of imagining myself floating blissfully like a fetus in embryonic fluid without a care or worry, my mind immediately went to Ryan Reynolds in Buried Alive.

Lovely Vicki brain. Lovely.

I need not have worried. From the moment we arrived we were made to feel really calm and relaxed by Chris the owner.  To help quash any fears, before we went in Chris went through how the whole thing operates and how it is kept mega hygienic. The facility was super clean & I liked that it was very basic without all the hippy wanker stuff like Buddhas bought from Bargain Hut.

After the orientation I was taken to my room. There was a large shower room that was very dark but lit in purple light.  When I saw the door to the float room I have to admit I started having a panic attack. I felt like I was going to start crying and I was shaking.
 Again, the good old Vicki imagination kicked in to over drive because quite frankly, the door looked just like a mortuary door and the room beyond looked was SOOOOOOOOOO dark it was like some sort of gateway to the Upside Down or something out of Stargate.
 (I've read way too many sci-fi novels)

I almost pulled the pin right then & there but Chris (who no doubt has seen this initial reaction a million times) assured me that I can leave the door open a bit to let in some light and it can't lock so I can stop at any time and get the fuck out at any time.

He then squished some ear plugs into my ears and it was time.

I had my required shower, took a big breath & stepped into the room like I was a weird nude astronaut stepping through a time travelling portal to another dimension (shut up Vicki imagination).

I sat in the water which was only about 14 inches deep and let my eyes get used to the room. I lay back and was immediately amazed by the feeling of the 'water'. It is super super salty and I can only describe it as like when you make jelly and it hasn't quite set yet.  It is heated to be the same temperature as your body and felt really nice. I kept my eyes open and focused on the strange feeling of the water.  Then my morbid black humour kicked in and I started giggling because the room looked to me like Dexter's kill room but with thick black plastic instead of clear plastic.  (yes I'm a weirdo)

I began to relax and just be silly by pin balling myself up & down and side to side. This was very fun.

After about 15 minutes I built up the courage to close the door.  I was abruptly plunged into complete & utter darkness.  Crazy dark.
Surprisingly, I was cool with not being able to see my hand in front of my face but the temperature of the air pumped into the room is also body temperature in order for your body to not feel any cold or heat and that DID make me feel suffocated. I am the sort of person who even in winter needs a window open, so I cracked the door again to let in some cool air.

*disclaimer - this is NOT me but it IS what the room looks like

I didn't doze off and I didn't go all zen and shit but I did do mindfulness and focused on my breathing and the sensation of the water which was lovely.  I'm not sure if it was all the magnesium in the water but I found that I REALLY needed to stretch.  "Righto" I thought "if my body is telling me to stretch then I will".  It was very cool doing stretches in super buoyant water.  Suddenly I heard 3 knocks which indicated the end of the hour so I slowly rose up like a fluro white dugong and stepped back out of my tomb.

The water felt all weird &  slimy but after having a really hot shower my skin felt AMAZING.

I thought that I would feel all sleepy afterwards but I found the opposite.  I felt quite energised.

Would I FLOAT again?  

Probably not.  I mean I am really glad I tried it and I was very proud of myself for doing something 'scary'. For me, I prefer a nice massage.

Would I recommend FLOATING to others?

I can totally see how people could really become 'addicted' to floating.
It is relaxing as all get out.  This world is bloody noisy and a sensory overload and I think having a break from all of that is great.
The Big Fella (my husband) LOVED it and will be back for sure.

I liked that Float at Lutwyche was a floating ROOM and not one of those pods.
I don't think I would have gone into a pod.  That would be a bit too Matrix for me.

You should totally try FLOAT.

Vicki rating 4 out of 5 stars

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