After riding my deadly treadly back and forth a bit I finally found the group in amongst the 50 billion people barbequeing that day.
I thought I would step out of my comfort zone and go and MEET some people.
And what an amazing bunch of ladies! I sat there godsmacked at the incredible accomplishmets of these women both personal & physical. Very very inspirational!
I was stoked to meet a fellow blogger Kate who writes the fabulous blog: www.cocogirlbutter.blogspot.com.au .
We all shared our stories in the gorgeous breeze off the water. It was lovely. I'm such a dickhead though, the meet up finished & I realised after everybody left that I forgot to get a group photo!
So instead I will just steal the pic taken by Kate.
|I'm detecting a common theme here.|
Now, I'm not sure how to say this but.........
I don't WANT to do a triatholon. or Tough Mudder. or the Kokoda challenge. or Bridge to Brisbane.
There. I said it.
I was astounded by how many fitness events alot of the 12wbt ladies go into.
Please please please please DO NOT get me wrong.
If you are one of these people who go into these events, I think you are totally freaking amazing & brilliant (a wee bit crazy) but totally inspirational that alot of you have lost shit-loads of weight and love nothing better than pushing your new buff fit n healthy bodies to new limits.
BUT I just don't wanna do it.
I want to get fit. I want to look fucking hot & buff. I want to lose weight (god I want to lose weight).
I want to feel like I have lots of energy BUT I just don't get into PUSHING myself. The thought of doing a 20km obstacle course like Tough Mudder just doesn't float my boat.
I must admit that I feel a bit of a loser by admitting this. I feel like I'm a failure because I'm not hitting boot-camps every weekend.
Does this make me less of a person?
Does this mean that I mustn't be as committed as I should be?
I sometimes wonder.
I just want to do my exercises, work up a sweat, burn more calories than if I was sitting of the bed watching re-runs of Scrubs while drinking a bottle of Merlot, turn bright red, have a shower & have a nap.
I DON'T want to feel like I am going to DIE.
Again I say, if you are a person who loves pushing yourself & doing these things, I seriously say "Bloody good onya and Go you good thing".
Not for me I'm afraid.
I just want to be able to fit into my vintage frocks again and not look at myself naked in the mirror without vomiting a little in my own mouth.
While I'm having a bit of a vent I just want to say that it also gives me the absolute shits that I gave up drinking grog (about 3-4 bottles of Merlot a week) completely, I have gone from doing sweet fuck all exercise to exercising 4-5 days a week, I don't eat junk food like Maccas or HJs and eat primarily organic fresh food and yet I struggle like a bastard to lose weight! For Gods Sake.
I sometimes read people's posts on Flakebook or the 12wbt forums.
"Oh I can't believe it! I've lost 5 kilos in 2 weeks JUST from eating clean and going for a walk"
and yet it seems to take me FOREVER to lose weight.
It's. Just. Not. Fair (stamps foot).
Am I alone? Please tell me I'm not alone in the way I feel.