Thursday, September 19, 2013

It's Hard to be a Diamond in a Rhinestone World - Dolly Parton

Wednesday morning. Weigh in morning.
 
88.2kg
 
BY THE LIVIN' HARRY! SINCE I LEFT WW I HAVE GAINED 2 kilos!

I finished work on Wednesday arvo & was feeling flatter than a cane toad on the M1 so I wandered to our local news agency in the hope that I would find happiness in the glossy pages of the latest issue of Marie Claire or Harper's Bazaar. 
As I starting flicking through Women's Health my eyes kept being drawn to the latest issue of the Weight Watchers magazine.  A slight feeling of nervousness & butterflies in my stomach twinged.
"Oops shouldn't have had that 4th cup of coffee" I thought.
I was tempted to buy the Women's Health. I mean, come on it was tempting with articles such as FRISKIEST SEX EVER and PINK On Life Love and Balance .
"Oh just have a LOOK at WW" I taunted myself.

Well, as soon as I flipped it open it was a bit of a HALLELUJAH moment.

WEIGHT WATCHERS.



My old friend.  I've missed you.  Geez I wonder if my gain of 2 kilos might have something to do with the fact that I'M NOT TRACKING MY FOOD? ! WELL DERRRRRRR.

I paid the News master hastily as I couldn't wait to get home, prop myself up in bed & read all about this year's Healthy Life Award winners.
Can I just say it?  They are amazing!

As I read their tales of overcoming weight gain & discovering a new lease on life I was overcome with a mixture of excitement, drive, a touch of mania & this weird feeling of ....... MOTIVATION.

It was in that moment. In my sexy home made jungle pants boxer shorts, bleach stained over sized $4 Kmart shirt and totally unglamorous hair that I made a vow.
I raised my cup of Roobis Organic Tea above my head and proclaimed to Harvey the Pookah cat & to myself...

BY THE POWER OF GREY SKULL
 
NEXT YEAR I WILL BE THE WINNER OF THE WEIGHT WATCHERS HEALTHY LIFE AWARDS
 
I WILL BE ON THE COVER OF THE MAGAZINE WEARING SOMETHING UTTERLY FREAKING AMAZING WITH MY HAIR & MAKE UP ALL FANCY.
 
I WILL BE 65kg AND BE HEALTHY & FIT AS ALL SHIT.
 
 

Now, I am a right brained dame & a very visual person so the next day I spent some hard earned work time creating a fake WW magazine and printing it out on work's copier. (I'm sure the boss won't mind). I admit it's not particularly realistic but it will do.
I have blue tacked it near my mirror in my boudoir at home where I spend my time plastering my face with slap & primping & preening myself.

I understand that some of you out there might be thinking
"Oooo you stuck up MOLE. How vain can you be wanting to be all over the cover of a mag. What? Just so you can have people run up to you on the street I 'spose. Corrrr could you BE anymore up yaself?".

To the naysayers I say "Stick it up ya clackers". or in the words of Cartman "WHATEVER. I DO WHAT I WANT!"

So I have rejoined Weight Watchers on the ETools.
It feels comforting to be back.
I feel like I am in control again.

I'm back on the Weight Watchers Community boards again & it is so wonderful to be back in the warm arms & groping hands of my WW friends who are so supportive.

So keep your eyes peeled because in about 12 months I will be a fricking celebrity and you will be able to say "I knew her when she was a big boomba".

FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO:  www.weightwatchers.com.au


oxoxoxoxxoxoox

9 comments:

  1. Hi Vicki, Julie here - the editor of Weight Watchers magazine. Just wanted to drop you a line and say see you in a year! I don't think you're a "stuck up mole" for wanting to be on the cover or be in the magazine...I want all members to have that goal! So keep in touch and make sure you let me know when you get to your goal. (The mag email is weightwatchers@bauer-media.com.au)
    Julie
    PS Love your DIY cover.

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    Replies
    1. OH WOW!! I am so flattered to have you comment on my blog! Thank you so much. Be prepared... next year will be a RETRO cover LOL

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  2. Jungle, jungle, jungle, JUNGLE PANTS!!!
    Keep at it Vickster.
    Love ya work.
    Hilly

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    Replies
    1. hahahaha on NEW YEARS I will bring my jungle pants for you to admire xoxo

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  3. As I know that nothing is impossible. I recommend regular exercise and proper diet for weight loss.

    Regards,
    Kopi Luwak

    ReplyDelete
  4. I would totally buy a magazine with that cover.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sorry, change "would" to "will"!

    ReplyDelete