Wednesday morning. Weigh in morning.
BY THE LIVIN' HARRY! SINCE I LEFT WW I HAVE GAINED 2 kilos!
I finished work on Wednesday arvo & was feeling flatter than a cane toad on the M1 so I wandered to our local news agency in the hope that I would find happiness in the glossy pages of the latest issue of Marie Claire or Harper's Bazaar.
As I starting flicking through Women's Health my eyes kept being drawn to the latest issue of the Weight Watchers magazine. A slight feeling of nervousness & butterflies in my stomach twinged.
"Oops shouldn't have had that 4th cup of coffee" I thought.
I was tempted to buy the Women's Health. I mean, come on it was tempting with articles such as FRISKIEST SEX EVER and PINK On Life Love and Balance .
"Oh just have a LOOK at WW" I taunted myself.
Well, as soon as I flipped it open it was a bit of a HALLELUJAH moment.
My old friend. I've missed you. Geez I wonder if my gain of 2 kilos might have something to do with the fact that I'M NOT TRACKING MY FOOD? ! WELL DERRRRRRR.
I paid the News master hastily as I couldn't wait to get home, prop myself up in bed & read all about this year's Healthy Life Award winners.
Can I just say it? They are amazing!
As I read their tales of overcoming weight gain & discovering a new lease on life I was overcome with a mixture of excitement, drive, a touch of mania & this weird feeling of ....... MOTIVATION.
It was in that moment. In my sexy home made jungle pants boxer shorts, bleach stained over sized $4 Kmart shirt and totally unglamorous hair that I made a vow.
I raised my cup of Roobis Organic Tea above my head and proclaimed to Harvey the Pookah cat & to myself...
BY THE POWER OF GREY SKULL
NEXT YEAR I WILL BE THE WINNER OF THE WEIGHT WATCHERS HEALTHY LIFE AWARDS
I WILL BE ON THE COVER OF THE MAGAZINE WEARING SOMETHING UTTERLY FREAKING AMAZING WITH MY HAIR & MAKE UP ALL FANCY.
I WILL BE 65kg AND BE HEALTHY & FIT AS ALL SHIT.
Now, I am a right brained dame & a very visual person so the next day I spent some hard earned work time creating a fake WW magazine and printing it out on work's copier. (I'm sure the boss won't mind). I admit it's not particularly realistic but it will do.
I have blue tacked it near my mirror in my boudoir at home where I spend my time plastering my face with slap & primping & preening myself.
I understand that some of you out there might be thinking
"Oooo you stuck up MOLE. How vain can you be wanting to be all over the cover of a mag. What? Just so you can have people run up to you on the street I 'spose. Corrrr could you BE anymore up yaself?".
To the naysayers I say "Stick it up ya clackers". or in the words of Cartman "WHATEVER. I DO WHAT I WANT!"
So I have rejoined Weight Watchers on the ETools.
It feels comforting to be back.
I feel like I am in control again.
I'm back on the Weight Watchers Community boards again & it is so wonderful to be back in the warm arms & groping hands of my WW friends who are so supportive.
So keep your eyes peeled because in about 12 months I will be a fricking celebrity and you will be able to say "I knew her when she was a big boomba".
FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO: www.weightwatchers.com.au