Well Ladies & Gentlemen it's that time again. The lead up to the starting line.
THE FITNESS TEST
I got home last night, grabbed TBF & the pooches, whacked on my JFDI cap & skidaddled down to the waterfront to do my 1km fitness test run. At 5.15 it was dark, windy & a wee bit chilly.
As I approached the starting line I started my internal chant
JUST FRIGGIN DO IT
JUST FLOCKING DO IT
JUST FUDGING DO IT
Mmmmm FUDGE..mmmmm .. HANG ON FOCUS VICKI FOCUS
JUST FLECKING DO IT!
I had my ipod shuffle cranked with my latest running tune "Piranha" by The Prodigy.
On your mark.Get Set. GO!!!!!!!!!!!
By the 800metre mark the cold wind was burning my throat like I had been chain smoking a carton of Camel No Filters all day.
I finally stepped over the 1km mark!!
I had exactly 1 second of joy before I started wheezing AND dry retching at the same time. (not as easy and fun as it sounds). Gasping I turned around & walked back to TBF, clutching at my chest like my lungs were going to burst out of my ribs in a gush of blood & old durry air.
"I *gasp* did *gasp* it". I gasped.
Then the coughing fit took over combined with a nice taste of bile in my mouth.
Oh this running caper is just fantastic *sarcastic font*
4 months ago I did my fitness test & this run took me 7 minutes and 20 seconds!
I have improved my time by a whopping 55 seconds. Unbe-friggin-lievable.
JUST FRIGGIN DO IT???
JUST FUCKIN DONE IT BEATCHES!!
Next it was time for my other tests.
WALL SIT: Original time: 36seconds NEW TIME: 1 minute 10seconds (quads of steel baby)
PUSH UPS: Original: 13/minute NEW: 28 in a minute
ABS: Original level: I couldn't even lift my lard arse off the mat.
NEW LEVEL: I can actually sit up without someone behind me pushing me up.
STRETCHY LEG TEST: Original: 10cm NEW: 12cm
I started jumping around like Larry Emdur had just called
"Vicki Martin Come on DOWNNNNNNN".
Just when I thought it couldn't get any better... I jumped on the scales this morning.
I've lost 700g.
I did the crazy washing machine dance while chanting like a congo line
I lost seven hundred.... I lost seven hundred...... I lost seven hundred.
Tomorrow the new fitness & menu plans come out and I can't wait.
I can't wait to JUST FABULOUSLY DO IT!