Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Yawl Gonna Make me Lose My Mind. Up in Here. Up in Here.

Well, sorry about my last post.  Sometimes it's like a brain sucking tornado comes down & into my head & grabs all my thoughts & shoots them up into the air & spins them all around like crazy until they are all just jumbled up.
Thankfully the storm is over & the rainbow has come out & the birds are tweeting again (and all that shit).
My thoughts have floated back down & settled into their normal little places.

One of the things that sent me over the edge is that I have started a new eating programme.  
(yes ANOTHER one) 

Look, you nay-sayers & tskers,  I will continue to try every cotton pickin wonky eating plan in the world until I find what makes me feel good, healthy, energetic and not bloaty, lumpy, cranky and stinky.
I have been feeling SO much like shit that I went to the doctor to get blood tests. 
Yes I deliberately ASKED to have a needle driven into my arm! (I'm still waiting for the results)

CHUCK held my hand

This programme is an eight week long eating plan which basically is all about QUITTING SUGAR (duh).
One of the elements of this is what they call The Sunday Cook Up. 

Any of you who know me, know that I am a social butterfly. I like meeting up with my peeps, talkin' about vintage frocks & bowel movements and bagging out the horror that is today's fashion. However, I also like hangin with my hubby and chillaxin near his big gorilla self.
Add to this, trying to fit in visits with the family who probably think I am either avoiding them or have been kidnapped & sold into slavery.

There is a lot of prep in The Sunday Cook up.  I think TOO MUCH. My brain literally imploded with the (self imposed) stress of having to get it all done
So, I've decided (now that my brain has returned to its normal mooshy chilled out self) that The Sunday Cook up can go jam it up its bum.
I mean, I work full time. My weekends should be spent doing good things that I ENJOY.
Like napping, trying to avoid trapdoor spiders when geocaching, swearing at my sewing machine, spending quality time with my husband sitting on the bed with our laps tops watching video compilations of cats attacking children and catching up with family who can remind us that they hardly EVER see us anymore.

I don't want to spend my whole day pureeing up 500 kilos of pumpkin, boiling up 20 chicken breasts & searching all over town for fucking fennel bulbs.

In saying this, so far (I'm up to day three) the eating plan is pretty good. Hubby & I raised our eyebrows at the dubious looking sausage, kale, beetroot & walnut hash BUT it was actually very tasty.My oats, chai, coconut "bircher" muesli does taste a wee bit like coconut Clag glue with some berries mixed in but definitely    edible.I am feeling much less bloaty and I have stopped looking at buying Millers elastic waist pants for work.  My mid arvo hunger pains have also disappeared!  
My wee is VERY stinky & dark though. I am trying to convince myself that it is all the fat in my body is being peed out of me.
Thankfully, this weekend I have bugger all on so I can give my brain a mini vacation. Phew.
Inhale... and OUThale


  1. Pretty much lost my shit over "searching all over town for fucking fennel bulbs". The dick photo was the cherry on the cupcake that was this awesome blog! Rhea

    1. Thanks...
      Oh I didn't know it was a dick! I thought it was a rocket!
      (just kidding I knew it was a dick).
      Street art.

  2. This post cracked me up. I'm so with you on the "who wants to spend ages cooking up a big storm over the weekend!" That's one thing I found about 12WBT it made me cranky as I was spending so much time trying to exercise, and cook all this additional food. Whereas if I can eat better with shorter preparation meals then I'll also be happier :)

    1. I hear ya Jen. I'm stuffed if I want to spend my hard earned weekends cooking for 10 hours! When I could be napping.

  3. AMV just linked me your blog and I'm having fun reading it!
    I've been on a few diet kicks the last year, less for weightloss (I lost 5kg and am now within my first goal range) but to get more energy. I was trying for low sugar, but ended up on low carb, which is pretty similar. If you are looking for more sugar-free inspiration, David Gillespie's Sweet Poison has a lot of stuff. If you find yourself heading into low-carb (keto) as I did, there are a lot of subreddits with loads of information and recipes. http://www.reddit.com/r/keto/ is the main forum, with a link on the side to other subreddits. The benefits I have found of low carb has been better sleep, and needing way less of it! My go-to dinner is steak with a creamy sauce and salad with feta and pinenuts and all sorts of yummies - and somehow I've lost weight. I haven't stuck to it religiously, because that's way too hard, but making more lower-carb choices makes me think about my food more.