Thursday, June 27, 2013

The thing I've found with Pigeons is: they've got wings but they walk a lot - Karl Pilkington

If there was a an X-Factor category of that I would win hands down.
Dannii Minogue:  And what's your talent Mz Vicki?
Me:  Hi Dannii I can eat a whole Pizza Capers pizza, a Cherry Ripe slice the size of a shoe box, a neenish tart & a whole packet of Scotch Finger bickies without even tasting them or getting full.
Simon Cowell: Hmmph well git on wid it 'en. This I gotta see.

You know. This whole emotional eating caper would be totally null & void if I had something to pep me up instead. Like, say, a baby owl or a Quokka.
If my brain was all funky and filled with the feeling that a Tyrannosaurus Rex was about to eat me and my fight or flight chemicals were off the scales, instead of reaching for some sort of delicious yet totally fattening morsels I would instead reach for my fuzzy Quokka who would gaze up at me, smile and reassure me that everything is going to be A OK.

Instead, I am confronted with the icy glare of Harvey The Evil Pookah Cat & our new addition Beaker The Wombat Cat who care not about my delicate mental state and only care about the fact that they haven't eaten in at least 20 minutes and it is now 5 past 5pm and I am 5 minutes late with dinner.

Luckily, I do have TBF who greets with with open arms & wraps them around me like a big hairy doona.

As far as I know it is illegal in Queensland to own Quokkas and baby owls so I need to find myself a non-food related substitute for Cadbury Marvellous Creations.

After my insomnia nights of unexplained anxiety and butterflies I went to the doctor. I described my symptoms to him. Prognosis:  STRESS.
Wow.  I'm not sure what I was expecting though. He gave me some nice highly addictive happy pills to take emphasising the words HIGHLY ADDICTIVE as did the chemist. They will 'take the edge off'. I am very conscious of the fact that I could easily use them as my new substitute for my old nemesis Mr Merlot.

I didn't want to go to my WW meeting last night as I was still feeling a bit blerk in the brain & a bit sensitive. But I know that my meetings always make me feel good and Toni our leader always peps me up. Bless her cotton socks.  I got on the scales not expecting anything good. It was worse than I thought. A gain of 1.2kg. Bloody hell! I was this close to bursting into tears.
Sometimes I seriously feel like going "You know what fuck it! I'm over it. I'm over trying to do good all the time. I'm never never never gunna get there anyway! Waaaaaaahhhhhhh".
Luckily the lovely Toni placed a loving hand on my knee and reassured me that I WILL get there.
Lip quivering I nodded and mumbled "yes I will I know".

So, It's a new week. Back up on that flipping brumby horse again.

I can do it. I have come so far. 

Instead of emotional eating I will drive PAST the bakery, go home, have a searing hot shower & watch YouTube clips of Quokkas and Owls. If I can't be arsed cooking then I will eat one of our frozen meals or chose a healthier takeaway than pizza.

What do YOU do when the emotional eating monster comes to visit you?

Have a wicked weekend everyone.

1 comment:

  1. I totally know what u mean I ate 1/2 a family size block of choc yest after lunch. It didnt fill the whole i had. But luckily I was able to go hm early.
    I recently lost a friend to cancer the day of the wintersun ball (so lots of emotional drinking that night) ans it finally came to a head yesturday when I had to fill in the memorial book :-(