Tuesday, April 23, 2013

It's kinda like a new pair of underwear. At first it's constrictive, but after a while it becomes a part of you.- Garth Algar

Well what a shit of a week it has been in the land of Mz V.

Last Thursday night I was totally expecting to have a gain on the scales due to my overinflated reproductive organs which obviously turn into steel every month....  "well strap my face to the side of a pig and roll me in the mud" if I didn't put on 2 KILOS! When I told the room of my gain there was a rather humourous (yet kind of horrifying) collective GASP from the crowd. I am sure I heard murmering "2 kilos! For shame" "That poor girl" "let's run her out of town" "I'll get the pickforks & torches".
Lawd only knows what the heck happens down there in Flo-Town every 26 days but today I did a berry-berry sneaky weigh in and it seems I have lost the mystery 2kg AND another 1kg to boot.
Then our car gearbox shit itself so now I am driving the in-laws Prado around. Thank goodness they were able to lend me their car but I am super paranoid driving the big McCaffertys bus of a thing. I'm freaking out that some little P-Plater chick in a Mazda with tinkerbell seat covers is going to run into me. So on the weekend we went up to Oakey & got my Dad's car. He is now in a home so he doesn't need it. The only problem:  It is a manual and I only have an auto licence and I haven't a clue how to drive a manual. So now the race is on to teach me to drive. We started yesterday arvo and I did quite well.  Turns out I'm a natural and TBF was very gentle instructing me how to handle his gear stick.
heheheheh sorry I couldn't help myself. TBF will teach me some more this weekend & then I will have one or two lesson with a driving school & then I should be right to have my driving test.
It's been a very stressful week here at The House of the Screaming Radish where I work. The Service Manager is away on holidays & so I am doing my job & his. This is not a problem as I am Super Secretary and can file, answer the phones, paint my nails, balance the cheque book, surf the net, update my facebook status, type up job sheets & post pics of my sandwiches on Instagram all at once.
BUT...my boss doesn't cope with stress very well.... at all... that is all I am going to say.
Then yesterday the accountant came in to do the BAS. That was very stressful too.
I have combated my feelings of stress and anxiety in a bad way. Handfuls of Allens Joobie lollies from the work lollie jar, one Mars Bar (NEW HONEYCOMB FLAVOUR!) , 1 x Milky Bar 50g, and 10 Scotch Finger Bickies. I am CRAVING sugar like you wouldn't believe. *sighs loudly*
And I also haven't done any exercise.. AGAIN.
I'm looking forward to getting the exercise bike!
In some positive news, my boss announced to me last week "You're looking good Vicki. You can really tell that you are losing weight!" I quickly checked to make sure that I hadn't suddenly sprouted $50 notes on my body. "Ummm thanks?" I replied trying very hard to stop my right eyebrow raising in a skeptical arch.  That's my first weightloss compliment I've gotten so shit, I'm taking it!
Then on Sunday we took my Dad out to The Meringandan Pub for lunch. I had the lamb shanks with veges. OMG it was so good. It was a lovely day. Now, before I continue I WILL point out that my Dad has dementia & is in a nursing home. Poor bugger. He's only 63. He doesn't have super duper bad alzhieimers or dementia yet but what he does is mixes up his words. He knows that a cup is a cup but if I ask what it is he might say "Yeah 3 o'clock".
A sure sign of dementia: Dad's new found love of Celtic Thunder.
So sad.
So ANYWAYs we are sitting there enjoying the sun when Dad suddenly says "You're thinner!".
I took this as a massive compliment as Dad isn't really one (even before dementia) to hand out compliments but he has always been one to dish out 100% honesty. (sometimes not in a good way).
Last time we went out he announced to TBF "You're not even fat anymore!"
So Dad saying that I looked thinner made me quite chuffed.
At that moment a very large chicken walked past our table. Dad looks at it & exclaims
"Look at the size of that dog!"
Have a great weekend everybody. My boss has decided to give us Friday off as well as Anzac Day.
Wooohoooo! I will be spending my weekend picking up the exercise bike, riding the bike, going to a Rockabilly Gig on Friday night, seeing Bendigo Bank to hopefully sort out our completely shitful financial situation, sewing a new skirt and learning how to drive a manual so I can start doin'
fish-tails & mainies down Anzac Avenue on the weekends. fully sick bro.
Be safe everybody.


  1. Oh bless your dad sounds so sweet! Great post :)

  2. I was feeling sad for you and your dad over the dementia thing but then... the dog thing got me right in the giggles. Bless.

    Well done on getting your first (and second!) weight loss compliment! Here's to many more!

    xx Renilicious

  3. What was the honeycomb flavoured mars bar like??

    Yay for you getting compliments and the weight loss :)

  4. JEN: the honeycomb Mars Bar was just AWFUL.
    (that's a lie it was so good).
    JACLYN: Sweet is not an adjective I would have normally used with my Dad before the dementia. The dementia has actually brought out & new & unusual nice side.
    REN: You gotta laugh. :)