Monday, August 20, 2012

You know you're getting old when your back starts going out more than you do.-Phyllis Diller

The realisation settled on me like dust on my duchess top. It was Fitness Test time again.
As you all know Round Two was a bit of a non-event for me what with IVF, the deathly lurgy, not to mention that I came down with a terrible bout of laziness & apathy.
I haven't completed my fitness test since *gulp* May 29! Oh the 12wbt Shame of it.
So yesterday arvo I hit the track. I did a warm up of brisk walking for one kilometre & then BANG I was off. "Depectacon" by Le Tigre blasting my eardrums out. Around the 500 metre mark I started to suffer so I fast forwarded to "Piahrana" by the Prodigy. Oh ... my... Goodness...
I never thought I would EVER get to the 1km mark! It was like the min-min light. It just didn't seem to be getting any closer!!! FINALLY my flat duck foot slammed down on the mark.....

The time was actually 6.36 minutes. It took 2 seconds for my shaking hands to find the STOP button.
Then I started coughing, dry retching & gasping all at once. I seriously thought I was going to chuck infront of this nice old lady walking her poodle. I stopped & did some stretching on a bench.
Thank the heavens the fitness test is only every month.
So here's how I'm coming along.
ROUND ONE WEEK ONE:  7 minutes and 20 seconds
ROUND ONE WEEK 12:  6 minutes and 45 seconds
ROUND TWO WEEK 4:  6 minutes and 25 seconds.
I decided to walk the 2km back to the car musicless & just focus on controlling my raspy breathing by gazing across the calm bay and repeating in my mind "Do not hurl Do not hurl".
The weird thing was my throat felt like it was burning & I just could NOT stop coughing.
Have you ever watched one of those YouTube clips of those dickheads that eat a Ghost Chili (the hottest chilli in the galaxy). If you haven't you should .. HIL-AR-IOUS.
Well my throat felt like that.  Then.... as I was coughing & gasping I walked into one of those swarms of miniscule flying bugs. I don't know what they are? Not mozzies or midgies. Little tiny things that seem to stalk me if I walk at dusk. A bunch of them went into my mouth.
Seriously, this running caper is friggin' nuts!  This fit chick jogged past me as I was spitting up bile & bugs and you know what? She looked like she was ENJOYING running.
ENJOYING IT. Bloody Nut-job.
I quickly threw myself into my car & slammed the door on those vicious flying terrorists & zoomed home. Hacking & Gasping for air. Phew.
Once home and after my yummy dinner of Lentil Loaf (yummmmm) I set about baking some Pumpkin Chocolate Brownies. I wanted a healthy alternative to the Picnics, Cadbury Marvelous Creations (omg how good are they?) and Lindt balls I've been craving.
My tots buff friend Mrs Stubbs refered me to a bodybuilding recipe site & the rad recipe.
My brownies turned out OK. I have the WORST oven ever. It is one of those el-cheapo bench top ones. So my brownies turned out still a bit mooshy in the middle . BUT still very very yummo!
NOTE - The corn snuck into this shot & are not an ingredient

Here is the link to the recipe:  Pumpkin Protein Bars
I used Stevia instead of Xylitol, butternut pumpkin instead of canned pumpkin and Choc Isowhey powder instead of Vanilla.

I'm pretty excited about starting Round Three. I'm feeling pretty motivated & keen to get below 80kg by my birthday in October.



  1. Looks like your speed is increasing, despite the IVF, the dreaded lurgy, apathy and laziness... Well done! I wonder how you'll go next time when you've been focused and motivated??? Olympic times perhaps? :)

  2. I too am a round 2 fitness test shirker.... So good on you for getting out there and not hurling (and for doing so well on your time trial!) Best go do mine. All the best.

  3. HAHAHA zanyzana Just call me Mz BOLT!

    Janie D: Best of luck with your fitness test!!!