Wednesday, July 4, 2012

You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from internal parasites? Dr Zoidberg

I knew it! I knew that those eggs follicles weighed heaps! After THE HARVESTING they got 9 eggs. During the following 4 days 6 of them fertilised. I did my 12wbt weigh in on Wednesday and wasn't expecting anything good but HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH...
Not only did I lose the the weight I'd gained during my stabby stabby jabbies but I also lost another 200grams. How in jahosafats that happened I have no idea?!
Maybe while I was off in la la land in blissful morphine heavan in the hospital they saw some bits of fatty deposit & thought "Aww we'll just suck out that 200 grams of fat while we are here!"
I had a very very quiet weekend being careful not to go horseback riding, practise my UFC roundhouse kicks or ride a trail bike. Mummsy came to stay to make sure I was ok and fix me cups of tea.
We went for a very lovely walk along the waterfront & stopped for a noice cuppa on the foreshore.
We got word on Monday from the evil scientist (she's not really evil but I like the vision of her with a petri dish on a table & lighting flashing with her screaming "It's Alive!!". Out of the 6 eggs one of those little suckers had developed very nicely and was ready to go in. (we also now know that we also got a spare one that they have chucked in the esky for use down the track if we need it. Score!)
So yesterday I went in & had our fabbo frankenstein embryo implanted.
Last year the same procedure was like a scene out of the movie "Saw" and so I was so nervous i thought I might spew. Luckily Dr D the obstetrician , the nurse & the evil scientist lady were really really lovely & it was nowhere near as horrific as last time when it felt like the Dr was practising for the javelon throw with the speculum.
So I now have Go-Go Embryo inside me. We have nicknamed it Gustaf because it is made of the Good Stuff. They showed us a picture of it but it just looks like a coffee cup stain on a table to me.

So what does this mean for my 12wbt journey???
Well,, and I am seriously NOT making this up.... the doctors have instructed me to not do any really physical activiy for the next two weeks. They said I can walk nice little strolls but nothing that gets my core body temp up with sweating & panting and stuff.
So, I will continue to follow Mishy's eating plan but until I know if I officially have a bun in the oven (mmmmmmmm buns mmmmmmmmm) I will not be doing the exercise programme.
If I am preggers then I will change to the Pregnancy Programme & follow that... if I'm not then I will become a total gym junkie dedicating my every waking hour to becoming a super duper hawt slammin bullshit awesome pinup glamour queen. Until then my good eating habits have severley taken a back-seat (Grill'd burgers, popcorn, Magnum icecream, McFlurry, 5000 Scotch Finger Bickies). Not good.
This morning I got into work early & so I went for a lovely walk along the Brisbane river waterfront. It was very nice. I only walked for about 15 minutes but it was a nicer way to start my work day than my usual collapsing into my work chair grunting before chugging back 3 cups of extra strong gourmet Nescafe Blend 43 snarling at no-one in particular while I wait for the caffeine to take hold.
where I walked along this morning

Oh also in Mz Vicki style news....yesterday I got alot of my hair cut off (I wonder how much that hair weighed?) to a nice Rosemary Clooney style but then.......*cue horror music* I decided that if I am indeed pregnant I probably won't be able to dunk my head in that bucket of bleach & peroxide every month so I'd better dye my hair now to my 'natural' colour. I chose "Dark Natural Blonde".
The colour should have actually been called "Drab Manky Feral Monkey Blonde"as it is the most blah moussey grey brown shade and is hideous. I look like a Nanna that just doesn't care any more.
Tonight I am going home to wash my hair 10 times with Bi-lo brand shampoo & bi-carb the crap out of it to try & strip it out. Sigh.
First world problems...............

PS: Can you drink coffee if you are pregnant? Shit I hope so.


  1. Awwww, Mz Vicki! I am wishing you and TBF nothing but good news from here! xxx

  2. Fingers, toes and all other twisty bits crossed for the appearance of a mini-Martin.xxxxxxxxxx.

  3. Wishing you all the best Mz Vicki. Good and positive thoughts being sent your way.


  4. Decaf only sweetpea... good luck with Gustuf!

  5. I love your blog, I always get a laugh! And especially the "natural blonde" being actually "Drab Manky Feral Monkey Blonde". I dyed and dyed my hair blonde for years believing that I was a natural "dark blonde" and then I went chocolate brown and I swear you can't tell what is the colour and what is mine - so much for me being a natural "dark blonde". Why is it that dark blonde looks so crap? Like you didn't wash your hair ever even though it was washed and dried 5 minutes ago! Anyway, love your blog! xxx

  6. Thanks everybody! This two week wait is THE WORST! I just wanna know what the result is so I can move forward!
    I allow myself ONE cup of coffee in the morning & then I drink decaf or ginger tea with a spoon of honey.