Tuesday, May 15, 2012




Actually, let me rephrase that. DO NOT eat the MB12wbt Broccoli soup... ever.
Don't get me wrong the soup is quite tasty even though it looks like something a river trout might vomit up. It's the ... ummmm *cough* after effects.
Needless to say I very nearly had to do a quick run to Woolies to buy the industrial strength economy size can of Glen-20 and a mega pack of those pine tree car air freshners.
My car now smells very similar to the Clontarf tip pit.
The problem is that on the weekend I went berserk with cooking soups. I made 4 days worth of this stuff. I can't eat it anymore. I could sell it to the army for chemical warfare. I'm not even game to tip it into my garden for mulch!

I also made a large batch of the 12wbt Asparagus & Sweet Potato Soup. I am hoping that it doesn't not cause me the same ummmm side effects as Mr Broccoli.
Mind you it looks just as nasty. Like the contents of a baby's nappy. A baby who has been drinking the water of the Ganges.

I was such a good girl and prepared my whole week's menu and have stuck it on the fridge with all the bills & reminder notes. Through-out Round One I made notes on the recipes with a score out of 10.
This week's dinners have all received an 8/10 from myself & my own Matt Preston .. TBF.

So last night I tip-toed into the Zumba class. I quickly hid in the back corner as I watched all the women come in. It became very apparent that this is a tight group. I was eyed suspiciously.
I could almost hear them whispering to eachother. "Mmmm so who's the new girl?" "Oh I knowwww"." Are they Kmart pants? *giggle*"
I was a black sheep in a sea of purple & pink.
Then the instructors bounced energetically onto the stage. A mother/daughter combination of so much energy that they could have powered all the pokie machines in the Leagues Club for a week.
The mother would have been almost my grandmother's age.  It became very clear that this woman possessed more sass, verve, enthusiam & swagger than I have in my little toe!
OMG could she shake it!  Amazing! Seriously she had it Goin' Orn! It was like Beyonce has been reborn as a very white very fit grandmother from Caboolture.
I tried my best to keep up while trying not to look too much like a demented chicken.
Obviously the women in this class LOVE IT and love the instructors and there was alot of "Woooooing & Yeahhhhing". It was a fun class but I was a bit disappointed because the majority of the music was hip-hop and not Latin inspired like I thought Zumba was meant to be?????  I did enjoy the Jive done to Great Balls of Fire but the other music I just couldn't get into it. Too many robot moves & that move where you do the worm but standing up.
I looked about as sexy as a piece of dried loogey on a rail.  Can I add that during the class not only did I have to concentrate on thrusting my hips at the right time but the not-too-enjoyable bloating threatening to explode gas sensation in my guts also contributed to the constant pained looked on my face.  I have also discovered that on my downward approach to 40 I can no longer Jump Up N Down Wid my Hands in De Air Like I Jus Don Care because my bladder feels like it is going to cry tears of joy down my leg. Might have to start adding Poise to me shopping list . Sigh. 
At the end of the class I had burnt a very impressive 455 calories though.
Will I be back?
Today my knees feel like Kathy Bates has taken to them with a sledgehammer like in that movie "Misery". Not good.  I'm afraid that getting jiggy wid it with a group of women & doing the rump shaker just ain't my thang.
Now if they chucked in some Lindy Hop charleston with some knees up skankin then I would be front row centre.


  1. I feel the same way about Zumba. It's more fun than steppping on and off a little box, but I feel like a tool attempting that whole rump shaker thing...a very unsexy tool! Does your gym have Sh'Bam? The music can be painful at times but it's much better for the terminally uncoordinated like myself. And it doesn't have the booty shake thingy that I hate so much either.

  2. I'm doing the 12WBT too (newbie).
    Pretty sure that I just burnt more calories reading this post than I did exercising today. Funniest thing I've read and sounds so much like me. I think I'd prefer to walk on shards of glass than attend a group Zumba class.

    Can't wait for your next post!

    Carla :)

  3. Oh sweet tears of joy running down my leg, that is by far the funniest thing I have read in ages.

    I am SO going to love reading your journey on 12WBT while I sweat blood through my own.

    I'll be keeping in touch - keep up the enthusiasm.