MZ VICKI'S SNIPPET OF ADVICE
DO NOT... I REPEAT ...
DO NOT EAT A LARGE BOWL OF HOMEMADE 12wbt BROCCOLI SOUP THE DAY YOU ARE GOING TO BOUNCE UP & DOWN IN A ZUMBA CLASS.
Actually, let me rephrase that. DO NOT eat the MB12wbt Broccoli soup... ever.
Don't get me wrong the soup is quite tasty even though it looks like something a river trout might vomit up. It's the ... ummmm *cough* after effects.
Needless to say I very nearly had to do a quick run to Woolies to buy the industrial strength economy size can of Glen-20 and a mega pack of those pine tree car air freshners.
My car now smells very similar to the Clontarf tip pit.
The problem is that on the weekend I went berserk with cooking soups. I made 4 days worth of this stuff. I can't eat it anymore. I could sell it to the army for chemical warfare. I'm not even game to tip it into my garden for mulch!
I also made a large batch of the 12wbt Asparagus & Sweet Potato Soup. I am hoping that it doesn't not cause me the same ummmm side effects as Mr Broccoli.
Mind you it looks just as nasty. Like the contents of a baby's nappy. A baby who has been drinking the water of the Ganges.
I was such a good girl and prepared my whole week's menu and have stuck it on the fridge with all the bills & reminder notes. Through-out Round One I made notes on the recipes with a score out of 10.
This week's dinners have all received an 8/10 from myself & my own Matt Preston .. TBF.
So last night I tip-toed into the Zumba class. I quickly hid in the back corner as I watched all the women come in. It became very apparent that this is a tight group. I was eyed suspiciously.
I could almost hear them whispering to eachother. "Mmmm so who's the new girl?" "Oh I knowwww"." Are they Kmart pants? *giggle*"
I was a black sheep in a sea of purple & pink.
Then the instructors bounced energetically onto the stage. A mother/daughter combination of so much energy that they could have powered all the pokie machines in the Leagues Club for a week.
The mother would have been almost my grandmother's age. It became very clear that this woman possessed more sass, verve, enthusiam & swagger than I have in my little toe!
OMG could she shake it! Amazing! Seriously she had it Goin' Orn! It was like Beyonce has been reborn as a very white very fit grandmother from Caboolture.
I tried my best to keep up while trying not to look too much like a demented chicken.
Obviously the women in this class LOVE IT and love the instructors and there was alot of "Woooooing & Yeahhhhing". It was a fun class but I was a bit disappointed because the majority of the music was hip-hop and not Latin inspired like I thought Zumba was meant to be????? I did enjoy the Jive done to Great Balls of Fire but the other music I just couldn't get into it. Too many robot moves & that move where you do the worm but standing up.
I looked about as sexy as a piece of dried loogey on a rail. Can I add that during the class not only did I have to concentrate on thrusting my hips at the right time but the not-too-enjoyable bloating threatening to explode gas sensation in my guts also contributed to the constant pained looked on my face. I have also discovered that on my downward approach to 40 I can no longer Jump Up N Down Wid my Hands in De Air Like I Jus Don Care because my bladder feels like it is going to cry tears of joy down my leg. Might have to start adding Poise to me shopping list . Sigh.
At the end of the class I had burnt a very impressive 455 calories though.
Will I be back?
Today my knees feel like Kathy Bates has taken to them with a sledgehammer like in that movie "Misery". Not good. I'm afraid that getting jiggy wid it with a group of women & doing the rump shaker just ain't my thang.
Now if they chucked in some Lindy Hop charleston with some knees up skankin then I would be front row centre.