Thursday, May 17, 2012

Just Keep Swimming

Imagine the reflection if Esther Williams was looking in one of those weird side show mirrors you see at the Ekka.  Well that's what I looked like after I snapped on my super sexy bathing cap & hit the pool yesterday arvo.  I tried to visualise myself as the pool pin up as I tiptoed around the pool with my towel firmly wrapped around me but the reflection of my short stumpy white legs in the windows disolved any glamourous notions. Now imagine a blonde haired Dugong in a pair of Millers navy togs. NOICE.
I had been looking forward to having the soup warm pool all to myself as I had noticed that Thursday nights were very quiet normally.  This dream was quickly shattered as I walked into the pool area.
50,000 children.  Screaming. Yelling. Crying. Normally these children would be in the designated Child's Pool having their lessons but I was informed that there had been an "accident" in the pool & so they had to use the main pool. Icky.
They only had one lap lane open which I had to share with a bloke. It was right in the middle of the pool with the children on either side. I would have high-tailed it but I didnt' bring my gym gear. Oh well I'm here now. I tried put all thoughts of how much ribena-infused kiddy pee I would be swimming through out of my mind. Focus Vicki Focus.
It was hard to get in THE ZONE when you have 50,000 small children screaming on either side of you. Plus I had to deal with OBNOXIOUS CHILD who was determined to piss me off.
Little bastard.

He was about 7 years old & everytime he saw me coming to his end of the pool he would get into the lap lane & get in my way so I had to stop & go around him. After 6 times I cracked it.
I stopped right infront of him & put on my best Teacher/Mum tone.
"Are you swimming laps? Hmmmm are you? No? Well that man & I are trying to swim laps. There is only ONE lane for us. You have the whole pool don't you. Well? I am worried that we might just 'accidentally' kick you hard in the head when we swim if you are in the way. Do you want that? No? Well then I'd REALLY appreciate it if you could get out of this lane. Thanks matey".
He didn't come back into the lane. mwarrrr harr harrr har
I kept on swimming & managed to do 2km (40laps) in 33 minutes.
But I must confess. I didn't enjoy it as much as I used to.
Damn you Mish. I found myself wishing that I was in the gym on the X-trainer or pushing myself through another set of Sumo Squats. To be honest, I found the swimming.....
well boring. OMG who is this Vicki??????? What happened to Vicki the Water Baby???
I like the variety of the 12wbt programmes. It keeps me interested.
I tiptoed into the change rooms (please tell me that was spilled pineapple cordial in that room) & pulled my googles off like a beautician pulling off those chinese suction cups. This act in itself makes me not want to swim anymore as the nearly 40 year old skin around my eyes STILL has not shifted back into place even this morning. I look like the 'before' picture in one of those botox ads.
I fear the skin will never snap back again .
This 12wbt certainly is a journey of self discovery.
I've discovered that I now prefer the tortureous pain of the muscle burn over the stench of chlorine.


  1. You look great! Like an olympic swimmer, only not so blokey!

  2. Oh you are so funny, Mz V. I think swimming sux these days due to the heated, roofed over pools that councils build these days. Gimme the old 1960's, sky-blue, concrete-cancer ridden, 12 foot sub-arctic depths of an outdoor pool - the screaming of kids just fades away, and the blistering sun bakes off anything biologically ikky :)

  3. Try Aqua Zumba, burns 600 calories or more in 45 minutes, no one can see how uncordinated you are( well make that me)you don't sweat, its a win win win situation 'cept for the pee. xxx

  4. Mz Von Purr. I wish my pool had Aqua Zumba in the arvos. AT the moment it is only on around 10am during the week for the Nannas. At least it's not a public pool in Japan :)