Monday, March 26, 2012

Private Lemon is the finest soldier I've seen since my mirror got grease on it - Zap Brannigan

I've hurt my hips. See that wagon over there? I fell off it. I fell hard.
The last two weeks have been a bit of a write-off.
We are up to Week 8 on the 12wbt. Week 6 & Week 7? What 6 & 7?
As I explained Week 6 was the lead up to the fundraiser where I was doing my impersonation of the roadrunner dodging Wile E Coyote.
Week 7 - I crashed & burned. I felt like poo warmed up and fell down in a quivering lump of pale skin and smugged lipstick.
We are now at Week 8.

On the weekend I started to feel my energy returning & felt like I had been recharged.
Saturday I hit the gym to do my SSS. I actually POWERED through it.
It only took me an hour but I only burnt 410 calories.
Hmmmm"" I thought " Either I have missed printing out a page or I am getting fitter or somebody has spiked my baked beans on toast with crushed up Beroccas".
Mind you .. I woke up on Sunday & felt like I had been put into one of those car compactor machines.
Ohhhhh my abs Ohhhhhh my quaddy things Ohhhh that thing on my arm!!!!
Yep two weeks of NON exercise had caught up with me.
But it was a good hurty. Yep I was ready to get stuck back into the hardcore stuff again.
But..... let me rewind........
Saturday TBF & I had a BBQ to go to. I'm still off the turps so I was armed with my Coke Zero.
The food came out & OMG it was soooo yummy. Authentic mexican. Did I over eat?
Yes. Yes I did.
The worst was yet to come though.
I had... get this.... a cheesecake that was shaped like a cupcake that was the size of a SOFTBALL.
Not only was it a cheesecake. No. It was an OREO COOKIE cheesecake.
It was the most sickenly sweet sugar and cream laden thing I have ever eaten.
500 Billion calories.
I would have to do 50 spin classes, vomit, do 5 hours on the cross trainer, eat 20 ford pills, run for 10km, have diareha and sit in a sauna for 3 days to burn of the calories consumed.
My body did decide to torture me by giving me a cracking sugar headache about 2 hours later.
Then on Sunday. We had a lovely lovely lunch by the water with the fam.
I had 2 SKINNY lattes and the salt n pepper squid salad for lunch. Yumm
The topped it off with 2 SCOOPS of gelato. Tiramisu and Macadamia.
Geez Louise.
So anyways. "No worries matey" I reassured myself " I will just hit the gym in a big way this week. I'll go hard baby. JFDI has Mishy baby says".
Fast forward to Monday morning.....

My prumpets (ovaries) have decided to try & explode in protest to getting my TTOM. I stumbled to the kitchen & scoffed a handful (ok two) Naprogesic little blue miracles into my mouth.
"GROANNnnnnnn" I groaned clutching my lower abdomen.
I glanced at my feet & legs. Great Snakes! What the ???
My feet & lower legs are COVERED in red dots. Itchy itchy itchy red dots.
Now I am a super fan of anything polka dotted but on my albino white legs it is just not good.
So my plans to hit the gym IN A BIG WAY were foiled by my reproductive organs sucking the life force out of my body & my hivey covered stumps.
All I wanted to do was go home and have a scalding hot shower and cover my body in TENS machine pads, lavender wheat packs and whimper quietly into my U-shaped pillow Timmy the Third. (Yes he is called Timmy the Third)
So Mish I'm sorry ... sometimes JFDI (Just freaking Do It) (I don't say freaking) is more like GSIJCDISSU (Get Stuffed I Just Can't Do It So Shut Up).
Today I promise. Seriously.
Thank you Naprogesic & Telfast. My little blue friends.

Wonderful Airconditioning after Saturday workout


No comments:

Post a Comment