Monday, February 27, 2012

That's not Sweat. It's my Body Crying.

Saturday was my second SSS (Sixty Second Screamer) Saturday. Basically it is a circuit of a mix of weights & cardio. You jump on say the Chest Press machine & for the next 60 seconds you blast out as many reps as you can before your heart & lungs implode and you scream in agony.
I have to do 3 circuits. So off I trundled to the gym. This time I didn't so much skip as amble through the front doors. Last week's horror was still fresh in my mind.
I must say, I started off full of verve with thoughts like "Vickster you are totally kickin' it baby! Lean & Mean Baby Lean & Mean!" My first circuit had me firing on all cylinders & full of enthusiasm.
Half way around circuit two something happened.

I do not actually BURP half way through. This is short for BURPEES.
I'm not sure if my blood sugar dropped like a dodgy elevator or if my girlie bits suddenly realised that Sunday is TTOM (That Time of The Month) but my energy levels went from 8 to about a 4.
I was flaggin'. My face started to contort like a dog eating a nettle.
Every push of the press or pull of the bar, every lift of the weight & every jump of the leg I struggled.
Man oh man I was suddenly so very tired.
But, I pushed through. I uped the weights but slowed down on the reps. Instead of doing step ups on a two-tiered step I bought it down to one step.
It didn't help that I had forgotten my ipod & so had to suffer the ear cancer that is Nova FM that was cranked over the speakers playing the latest hits with a bullet (or something). I'm sorry but Adele, even though her voice is lovely, does not get my pulse racing & push me through the pain of doing shitful Mountain Climber moves. And what is that god-awful song I'm Sexy and I know It.  Vomit.
About 4 moves into circuit 3 I thought "Stuff this I'm going home" BUT...... I didn't quit.
I pushed through.
Even when the elderley man on the lat pull-down asked me if I was ok.
Once again my face was bright red & I looked like I was going to have a brain embolism.
"Stick it up ya bum you fit old bastard" is what I thought but instead I chirperly said "Oh I go bright red & my eyes glaze over like this ALL the time. Nothing to worry about!Thanks mate"

I only burnt seven hundred and something calories but I reckon that's still pretty bloody good.
Sure enough TTOM arrived on Sunday which has meant that for the last 2 days it has felt like my reproductive organs are being grated with an a cheese grater. I didn't exercise on Sunday (Mish says no) & I didn't do any on Monday due to some family stuff I had to do.
Today I am meant to be doing weights but because I missed out yesterday I am going to do cardio.
I don't have high hopes for tomorrow's weigh in because when Aunty Flo comes to visit she normally brings with her at least 1 kilo of bloatiness & water retension. Bitch.
We'll see though.
Fingers crossed.
I'm Sexy and I Know It...... NOT.


  1. LOVE your workout singlet!! I bet you are the coolest, foxiest blonde at the gym!

  2. You really should publish this when you're done with the 12 weeks - comedy gold! Yet we all know EXACTLY how you feel. Keep those 400's rolling in :)