You have to sweat like a Pig and work like a Horse to look like a Fox

Well. Wednesday night's spin class was everything I expected and more. It had the works.
Sweat. Swearing. Excruciating pain.And dry retching. Brilliant.
I was determined to crack the 400 calories burnt. I'm not sure where is new freakazoid exercise Vicki has come from. She's a wee bit wacky.
I jumped onto my deadly-treadly & pressed START on my fancy heart rate monitor watch. I did a quick look around the room to make sure people saw me so they know that I am SERIOUS about my exercise.
Yep people. I am monitoring my heart rate so I burn optimum calories. Yep I am a serious athlete now.
Alas the other 15 people were too busy adjusting their seats & getting their triathelete taunt bodies into position and adjusting their SKINS to notice the blonde frump up the back.
Then the Million Dollar Lady Woman PT came in. And announced
"OK Vicki we are going to crack that 400 today!!!".
"Yess ma'mm" I muttered.
And so began 45 minutes of insanity. We did this track called The Pain Killer. This was when I seriously thought I was gunna chunder all over myself. It is bullshit hard. It involves having your bike on a really hard gear, pedalling like a T-Rex with rabies is chasing you, sitting/pedalling for 8 counts then stand & pedal like a mo-fo for 8 counts. The muscles in your quads go totally spare.
Anyway, the last track FINALLY came & PT lady says those magical words
"Time to cool-down".
Through bleery glazed eyes I glimpse at my watch. .... 390 calories.
My hand darts up "MISS !!!MISSS !!! I'VE ONLY GOT 10 CALORIES TO GO!"
"Right!!!" She screams "Everybody. Gears back on and sprint for 1 minute so Vicki can get to 400!"
Everybody (Including me) starts peddling like the clappers.
Everybody starts yelling "GO VICKI GO VICKI"
I keep looking at my watch.
5 TO GO
4 TO GO
3 TO GO
2 TO GO
1 TO GO.....
400 CALORIES!!!!!!!!

Everybody cheering & woohooed at me.
I meekly smiled while the lactic acid in my guts threatened to explode out of my mouth into their proud faces.
"EErrg" I gagged " I think I'm going to spew".
To this the class cheered and screamed "BRILLIANT!!" ??????
Apparantly wanting to blow chunks during this class is some sort of honour. Like one of those American college fraternity rites of passage things like chugging a whole keg of beer while shaving an eyebrow off.
Afterwards people were walking past me and literally patting me on the back & saying "Well done on the 400 calories"."You nearly hurled Well Done". "See ya next week!".
It's like I have passed some sort of initiation ceremony.
Bionic Woman PT came up to me .
"You did great Vicki.... So next week we'll hit the 420 eh?" *smirk*
I quickly pretended to feel faint & ran away and hid in the toilets.
xooxoxxoxoxo

BREAKFAST BERRY SMOOTHIE