Tuesday, April 18, 2017

I'm no Hero. I put my Bra on one boob at a time like everyone else - Tina Belcher.

I've been a member of Weight Watchers now for 500 years.

Ok maybe not that long.

I first joined the DubbaEwes when I was 20 and I lost about 30 kilos.

Since then I have joined & quit & joined & quit & joined & quit etc etc etc.

The program is great.  It is all about eating healthy, exercising and taking care of yourself.

I decided to REREREREREjoin again last year.

"Come ORN Vickster you know it works" I wailed to the voices in my head "You need to get your shit together woman!"

The weekly meeting I go to is freaking great. I sit with a bunch of gals who are a bloody hoot and we have dubbed ourselves The Naughty Corner.  These woman are of all ages from I would say early thirties to their nineties  and I look forward to having a natter with them each week.


I just can't seem to get my shit together.

I track for about 4 days and then I seriously just can't be arsed.  It's all too hard.  I'm over it.
Why can't I just eat stuff and not gain weight?

Now, people you must understand I am not hitting the queues at KFC for their 35 piece bucket meal with a tub of potato and gravy or eating Maccas upsized meals.  I reckon I eat pretty healthy.  I'm all about CLEAN eating and not scoffing my gob with blocks of chockie. (ok confession time. I DID eat one of those Magnum Red Velvet ice creams this week.... sweet Mary mother of ................ anyway where was I? )

I mean you just have to LOOK at my HUGE Pinterest food board to see that I OBVIOUSLY eat like a saint.  Seriously, if pinning links to Keto, Paleo, Syndrome X and I Quit Sugar pages burned calories I would be a size 8!

And just LOOK in my kitchen cupboard where you will find 5000 cook books from almost every diet that has ever been invented. 12wbt. WW. Symply 2 Good. I Quit Sugar. CSIRO.  I got 'em all. (except for anything with that Pete Evans fella on the cover... he creeps me out)

I'm the same with exercise. Oh I'll hit that gym EVERY SINGLE DAY ...... for about 2 weeks and then the ole. Fuck this mentality kicks in.

I'd rather be home sewing.
I'd rather be home surfing pinterest
I'd rather be surfing reddit for new videos of pandas attacking people (those crazy pandas LOL)


"Why don't you just quit WW and eat whatever the fuck you want?!" I hear you screech.

Because, I like going to the meetings and seeing the ladies.  I love the recipes on the website.
I love stalking people on their Connect page. It makes me feel like I'm trying SOMETHING... even if it is half.... ok 1/4 arsed.

As I was sitting in my bed covered up in my minky blankey (ooooooooooo Autumn is here!), sipping on a cup of herbal Rooibis choc vanilla tea (zero points) and scrolling through the WW version of Instaham I got sad.  There seems to be a metric shit tonne of people who are fucking NAILING IT.
They stick to the program.  They do it.  They don't whinge and whine . People who have lost so much weight and are feeling super rad.

One one hand I tell myself "Vicki, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You are doing ok. Sure you're a boomba now and you have under boob chaffing for the first time in your life BUT you are alive and giving it a good solid go.................. for half of the week. Cut yourself some slack woman. There are people out there who are doing it REAL tough".

So, if anyone out there has the miracle cream for CBA syndrome (Can't Be Arsed) or a bottle of Shut the Fuck up and Just Do It I'd like to place an order.

SIDE NOTE:  Yes I know I should just accept myself for who I am, I should love my skin tags and pasty stomach fat...... This is not about that.  We all know that I am fucking amazing... just ask me (she says tongue firmly planted in cheek)... This is about HEALTH.
I have too much of that nasty visceral fat. That is the shit that will give you the diabetes and a force your organs to work too hard and I am ALL about not working too hard.

And I really need to start pinning more Adele quotes..................

She's my new super hero.


1 comment:

  1. I feel this, in a totally different way because I can't exercise because I'm physically incapable. :( My weight fluctuates even worse now that I'm ill and it's twice as hard to get the fat off. I have to do mild exercise, walking and low weight training. I'm piss at keeping routines. I'll do it for a week and get side tracked but the prospect of becoming even weaker as a result of not exercising is becoming my motivation. I wonder if maybe for you it might help to reduce your work out and start out doing half of what you've done in the past, maybe you've been going too hard and you're burning yourself out? Also having an incentive helps. I once heard of a dude who punished himself if he didn't stay committed he'd pay a friend $100. He learned quickly that he prefers not to lose $100.