Thursday, May 16, 2013

Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop! The great big greedy nincompoop!”

Weigh in night last night. Gained 800g. Not unexpected due to TTOM when my ovaries suddenly fill with lead. I was kind of hoping for a smaller gain though. * sighs audibly *
Since the weather has cooled down something has happened to me.
A stirring.
A yearning.
An ache.
A longing.
An urge.
For chocolate.
Shitloads of chocolate. Mountains & mountains of the stuff.
Dark, White, Milk I don't care.
I have a problem. I need to go to CA. Chocaholics Anon.

 Last night after my meeting I was feeling a bit down about my gain and a bit stroppy that it seems like I will NEVER crack the 85 kilos.  It was late. I was hangry. (combination of hungry & angry).
Iwas stuffed if I felt like cooking and TBF didn't either so I popped into Coles.
"Shit what can I get that will take 2 seconds to cook *grumble*. Stupid weight. *mumble* Bloody fat arse * moan* I don't give shit anymore *whine* That'll bloody do" I muttered to myself as I grabbed the Coles brand Indian takeaway food knowing full well the Pro-Points of these are on average about 5000 points each. (actually I calculated it at 30PP).
On the way out something caught my eye.
CARAMEL KIT-KAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep I bought it. As I was shovelling it into my mouth with no regard for eating it one stick at a time I was very aware of the thoughts & feelings inside of me.
The emotions went as follows:
Look I know that WW is all about NOT depriving yourself BUT my Gawd people I am having sweets almost EVERY day. I am CRAVING the stuff.
I sometimes wonder if because I no longer drink grog my brain and body is looking for a replacement.
I've had a shit of a day so I DESERVE this Cadbury Marvellous Creation.
I did 45 minutes on the bike last night so I DERSERVE this box of Lindt choc balls.
I watched Bondi Resue without making any smartarse comments so I DESERVE a apple & walnut scroll from Bakers Delight.
It's bloody cold so I NEED not one but two white chocolate & blueberry scones.
Afterwards it's like I suddenly wake up from my chocolate induced trance and look around dumbly "Huh? What happened? What's this brown stuff around my mouth? Why am I covered in crumbs?"
Mental note: Stop looking at the Food & Drink catergory on Pinterest.
OMG all those pictures of cupcakes, cakes & brownies.
Help me people.
Save me from this delicious glass n a half cacao nightmare.
Hello my name is Vicki
And I'm a chocoholic.


  1. Hilarious. I've started looking at the low fat chocolate recipes on Pinterest. It's still bloody hard.

  2. It is so hard ATTOM - i have given up resisting now. My body needs/wants it so I give it to it. Otherwise i end up eating everything else trying not to eat choc, then give in anyway.
    So now i just eat it first and save the extra calories :-)

  3. I've found the answer!
    They are awesome & really do take away my chocolate cravings.
    Yes they are still high in sugar but they also have loads of fibre.