So I'm all gung-ho about getting back into my exercise program right? So TBF & I sign up to do PARKRUN http://www.parkrun.com.au/ . Parkrun happens all around the place. It is a timed 5km 'fun' (I use that term very loosely) run. It is free. "That sounds rad" I thought gleefully to myself.
At the moment I do a walk/jog in the arvos for about 5km so I thought this would be a great way to really kick my motivation to *gulp* run.
We gathered with the other 127 loonies.... I mean runners at Sandgate Pool ready to start at 7am.
I donned my top to toe JFDI gear (REPRESENT GIRRFEND) and was feeling super motivated.
The breeze wafting in off the beautiful Sandgate water was wonderful. "What a lovely day" I foolishly thought to myself.
Right on 7am off we went. I really hit my stride with the first kilometre and a half. I had some new running tracks blaring in my ears (Nivana thank you very much). "This is Rad!" I thought.
I got to almost half way when things began to go very pear shaped (and I'm not talking about my arse).
I REALLY started regretting eating a bowl of muesli with almond milk before my run and my stomach started feeling very very average indeed. At the half way mark I starting seriously making decisions about whether I should spew into the water or on the grass. Just after halfway I nearly trod in a big pile of dog poo which then literally started me dry retching. NICE.
Then the bullshit heat hit me. Excuse my language but... HOLY FUCKING HELL. It really did feel like my whole body had been dipped into boiling lava. Around the 3 1/2km mark my fingers & legs felt like they were swelling up and going to burst like sausages on the barbie.
4 km and I started whimpering things like "no no no no isssss tooooo hawwwttttt no nonono shitfuckshit mmmmmmuuu arrrrrr farrrrrk".
The whole of my body was .. to put it bluntly... rooted.
MUST. ... JOG...THE... FINAL... 200... METRES......MUST.... SUCK.... IT .... UP.... JUST.... FUCKING..... DO..... IT...... DO..... IT..... FOR ...... MISH.......
I hit that finish line and immediatley burst into tears and started having a panic attack and couldn't breathe. TBF rushed at me with water and ushered me into the shade.
"Too. Hot Too Hot" I gasped.
FINALLY I calmed down just in time to have the awesome Kristen from the Northside 12wbt crew join me. See she did the sensible thing and PACED HERSELF. Next time I'm sticking with her.
NEXT TIME???? DID I SAY NEXT TIME?????
I will do it again.... I will do it differently next time....
Next time I will PACE MYSELF. I will take a bottle of Gatorade with me. I WILL NOT eat any form of milk product before hand.
Even at 7am in the morning in summer here in the fabulous QLD it is JUST TO FUCKING HOT.
I think I will stick to doing my walk/jogs for 5km late in the arvo and will go back to Parkrun when the weather cools down a bit. Though one of the bullshit fit marathon lady runners did say to me
"If you keep coming in summer just imagine how fast you will be able to do it in the Winter".
I resisted the urge to throw my waterbottle at her head.
I burnt 607 calories. It felt like I had burnt 50 million.
BREAKING NEWS !!! THE RESULTS OF THE RUN HAVE JUST COME IN.