So I asked people to nominate my blog for Mish's Ultimate Blog of The Century competition and you guys have been amazing with your obviously delusional fanfare. I've had a bit of a re-read of my previous posts & I've realised that if there was an award to biggest phoney I would probably win.
I had a bit of a read of some of the other blogs nominated & well... roll me in sprinkles & call me Julie..... did you know that most of the other people doing this 12wbt are ACTUALLY giving 100%!
They are following the plan to a T exercising like the billy-os and doing maniac stuff like running up & down shiteloads of stairs at Kangaroo Point.
Now THEY are inspirational... or insane... your call.
My biggest problem at the moment is I still wear the sash Miss Apathy 1956 (ok 2012).
Since starting Round Two 4 weeks ago I've had the black plague horror lergy and now am doing IVF.
The fabulous *sarcastic font* side effects of IVF are the constant feeling that you are going to hurl chunks, a feeling like your reproductive organs have jalapeno juice flooding through them, your tummy swells up like you've injested a water balloon full of hot water and you feel like somebody has slipped a date rape sleepy drug into your morning coffee. Crikey I simply cannot WAIT to experience pregnancy!!! (sarcastic font in upper case).
Last week I went to the gym on Mon Tues & Wed only. Each night I stepped out of the gym which backs onto the leagues club bistro and very nearly vomited up my Mount Franklin water. All I could smell was a mix of old cooking fat & bain-marie scrambled eggs.
Fast forward to the weekend when I had to introduce needle #2 which I suspect may be inseminating me with some sort of alien spawn.
I was going to go & do my SSS but I ran out of time because we were hosting a BBQ at The Pad (something that NEVER happens) and so I was running around like a blue-arsed fly cleaning my house. (There is nothing like having people over to get you off of your arse & finally clean the gecko poo off of the walls in the dunny).
"Tomorrow" I lamented "Tomorrow I will do the SSS".
At the BBQ I drank my Diet Saxby's Ginger Beer (still off the grog) but ate some sausages and had chips n dip. Treat meal anyone?
The next day the weather was icky icky icky and farrreeeezing. Overcast & drizzly. I awoke to the feeling that I was already in my first trimester of pregnancy & morning sickness had arrived. The thought of going to the gym made the bile rise in my guts.
So TBF & I literally stayed in bed all day watching "Dexter Season 6". I made the mistake of bringing into the bed a 10kg dish of leftover cashews from the BBQ which we mindlessly devoured while watching Dex stab his way through each episode.
Finally around 5pm I needed to stretch my legs which were starting to develop bed sores when there was a knock at the door. Our neighbour's daughter bought us a piece of mudcake the size of a computer harddrive. Some sort of animalistic fever overtook TBF & I and we tore into the cake like a pack of lions into a baby antelope.
Licking the red icing from our lips like blood we looked at eachother overcome with guilt & shame.
WHY OH WHY DID I DO THAT!?
I want to say that I will make it up this week but I'm not sure if I will people. I still have 4 days of vommy injections & I 'll be in hospital on Friday for *cue the ominous music* THE HARVESTING.
I know Mish says JUST FREAKING DO IT take a teaspoon of cement & the harden the hell up but I'm sorry for the next Week I think I'll JDALBOI (Just do a little bit of it). I WILL stick to the food programe and I will do SOME exercise but not really really full on. My alien follicles don't like it when I exhurt myself too much.
I'm hoping that the incredible nauseau is a POSITIVE thing & it means that my little ovaries are reacting the way they should be. Dr says it's all good.
So I'm sorry if my blog isn't exactly a super motivational 12wbt blog but sometimes life (or trying to create life) gets in the way a bit.
In the words of George Michael ...