I'm no Hero. I put my Bra on one boob at a time like everyone else - Tina Belcher.

I've been a member of Weight Watchers now for 500 years.

Ok maybe not that long.

I first joined the DubbaEwes when I was 20 and I lost about 30 kilos.

Since then I have joined & quit & joined & quit & joined & quit etc etc etc.

The program is great.  It is all about eating healthy, exercising and taking care of yourself.

I decided to REREREREREjoin again last year.

"Come ORN Vickster you know it works" I wailed to the voices in my head "You need to get your shit together woman!"

The weekly meeting I go to is freaking great. I sit with a bunch of gals who are a bloody hoot and we have dubbed ourselves The Naughty Corner.  These woman are of all ages from I would say early thirties to their nineties  and I look forward to having a natter with them each week.

But

I just can't seem to get my shit together.

I track for about 4 days and then I seriously just can't be arsed.  It's all too hard.  I'm over it.
Why can't I just eat stuff and not gain weight?

Now, people you must understand I am not hitting the queues at KFC for their 35 piece bucket meal with a tub of potato and gravy or eating Maccas upsized meals.  I reckon I eat pretty healthy.  I'm all about CLEAN eating and not scoffing my gob with blocks of chockie. (ok confession time. I DID eat one of those Magnum Red Velvet ice creams this week.... sweet Mary mother of ................ anyway where was I? )

I mean you just have to LOOK at my HUGE Pinterest food board to see that I OBVIOUSLY eat like a saint.  Seriously, if pinning links to Keto, Paleo, Syndrome X and I Quit Sugar pages burned calories I would be a size 8!

And just LOOK in my kitchen cupboard where you will find 5000 cook books from almost every diet that has ever been invented. 12wbt. WW. Symply 2 Good. I Quit Sugar. CSIRO.  I got 'em all. (except for anything with that Pete Evans fella on the cover... he creeps me out)

I'm the same with exercise. Oh I'll hit that gym EVERY SINGLE DAY ...... for about 2 weeks and then the ole. Fuck this mentality kicks in.

I'd rather be home sewing.
I'd rather be home surfing pinterest
I'd rather be surfing reddit for new videos of pandas attacking people (those crazy pandas LOL)

BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO DO IT.... BECAUSE YOU KNOW..... DIABETES AND HEALTHY LIVING 'N ' SHIT.

"Why don't you just quit WW and eat whatever the fuck you want?!" I hear you screech.

Because, I like going to the meetings and seeing the ladies.  I love the recipes on the website.
I love stalking people on their Connect page. It makes me feel like I'm trying SOMETHING... even if it is half.... ok 1/4 arsed.

As I was sitting in my bed covered up in my minky blankey (ooooooooooo Autumn is here!), sipping on a cup of herbal Rooibis choc vanilla tea (zero points) and scrolling through the WW version of Instaham I got sad.  There seems to be a metric shit tonne of people who are fucking NAILING IT.
They stick to the program.  They do it.  They don't whinge and whine . People who have lost so much weight and are feeling super rad.

One one hand I tell myself "Vicki, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You are doing ok. Sure you're a boomba now and you have under boob chaffing for the first time in your life BUT you are alive and giving it a good solid go.................. for half of the week. Cut yourself some slack woman. There are people out there who are doing it REAL tough".

So, if anyone out there has the miracle cream for CBA syndrome (Can't Be Arsed) or a bottle of Shut the Fuck up and Just Do It I'd like to place an order.

SIDE NOTE:  Yes I know I should just accept myself for who I am, I should love my skin tags and pasty stomach fat...... This is not about that.  We all know that I am fucking amazing... just ask me (she says tongue firmly planted in cheek)... This is about HEALTH.
I have too much of that nasty visceral fat. That is the shit that will give you the diabetes and a force your organs to work too hard and I am ALL about not working too hard.

And I really need to start pinning more Adele quotes..................

She's my new super hero.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

They don't think it be like it is, but it do. - Oscar Gamble

2017

2016 was a pretty fucking stressful year for me.  

My father finally passed away after succumbing to dementia.  Dementia is a pretty fucking cruel disease.  It's like an alien from some sort of nasty B-Grade horror film.  This creature takes over the host's brain and very gradually eats them alive.  The final 2 months of my father's life was just awful to witness.  He became literally a zombie.  He was dead but his brain was still firing.

My brother and I were with him in his final hours which was a very surreal experience. Such sadness at a life lost and future experiences taken away yet at the same time such relief that it was over for him.  This, combined with the funeral made the first part of my 2016 exhausting emotionally.

Then I left my job after nearly 9 years.

This was an incredibly tough terrifying decision for me but I felt it was time.

Starting a new job in a completely different type of working environment (small business to multinational corporation) , with people you don't know and a system you have never used before was pretty traumatic for me.  It was very much a culture shock. 

I am very fortunate that the girls I work with are so incredibly patient because it was all very overwhelming. My new job is very hectic and you must have superwoman time management and organization skills to do it.  Thankfully, I do have these but it hasn't stopped me having frequent anxiety attacks and depressive episodes.

SO 2017 

NEW YEAR NEW ME?

YES

If you are friends with me on Facey-Bees you would have seen I watched a documentary called "Embrace" the other night.  I guess you might say I had an epiphany.  

https://bodyimagemovement.com/embrace-the-documentary/

Embrace uncovers why poor body image has become a global epidemic and what women everywhere can do to have a brighter future.

I am so incredibly lucky.  I am healthy. I don't have disease. I am able-bodied. I live in Australia in one of the most beautiful peaceful countries in the world. I am a good, kind, empathetic person.

I have a Pookah, an absolute corker of a husband, a loving family & fantastic friends.  

I am blessed.

So I am a size 18.  So what?!

My boobs are now longer perky and my thighs chaff. I have purple veiny things on my legs and weird skin tag thingys on my neck.  Sure I could stand to be a bit fitter but at the end of the day.... if I am healthy and not on the path to diabetes (which I'm not I've been checked) then the only person who really gives a flying shit about my tummy is ME.

So this year is all about SELF ACCEPTANCE for me.

From my teenage years I have strove to be this unattainable THING. 

To be a size 12.

Thin = happiness.

No.

Healthy = happiness.

I've found that I have started getting depressed looking at Instagram.  The pin-up/vintage girls on there always SEEM to look incredible with their perfect makeup and hair. Their amazing vintage clothes and wasp-waists. They appear to be SO self confident and so self assured. They look fantastic and they know it.   

I NEED to stop comparing myself to this false imagery.

I KNOW that these people take off their make up, brush out their hair and chuck on some tracky-daks and have insecurities just like me.  I know that they have taken 500 photos before choosing that ONE that is 'perfect'.

I never thought that aging would worry me.  I always thought I would NEVER be one of those women who gave a shit about wrinkles and veins.... but lately, to my horror, I have become one.

FUCK THAT.

I am 44 years old.  I am a size 18. I am healthy.

2017 RESOLUTIONS

Stop caring what other people think so much. 

People are wrapped up in their own worlds. Stop being so bloody hard on myself. I truly am my own worst enemy.    I constantly worry about what people think and hate the thought that someone doesn't like me or thinks I'm a fuckhead or full of myself because I post selfies.

I will be working on loving myself more.  If people don't like me that is fine and if people reckon I post too many selfies then they can just unfriend me and block me.

Move more.  

No not start some new Couch to 5k or crazy bullshit exercise routine I just KNOW I won't continue after 1 week. 

Just move. W

alk in a park. Swim in the ocean. Play Frisbee. Garden. Walk along the waterfront. 

Just move.

Do heaps of new exciting things.  

Go places I haven't been before.  Do lunch.  Ride a zip-line in the trees.  Go on water slides. Visit the Planetarium. Soak in an onsen. Challenge myself. 

Clean up our house.

De-clutter!!! I have SO much STUFF. Time to get it gone.   

Seriously, how many coffee cups do we REALLY need!!!!

Also, give our house a mini-make over this year. The old girl is starting to look a bit dowdy. 

So bit by bit. Fix up the garden. Weed down the side of the house. Repaint parts. 

A bit of a spruce up is needed.

Sew what you got.

There is a sewing challenge I've been told about that I will be doing.

The next 8 outfits you sew must come from fabric and pattern you already own.  

You can't repeat a pattern and you can't buy any new fabric. It must come from your existing stash.

You can only buy notions.  I don't know what the official hashtag of the challenge is so I've made up my own if you want to join in.

#sewwhatyougot

So there you have it.

I'm excited for what this year will have in store for me.  I'm sure whatever comes my way will be exciting and challenging.... but that's OK.

I will be making a point of blogging more this year.  

I find it very cathartic putting my thoughts onto the screen.  

I stopped blogging because, frankly I thought 'nobody gives a fuck about what you're doing Vicki. Why do you think Vicki that people give a shit about what you are dribbling on about... what's the point if nobody's reading".  

Now I will blog for me.  If nobody reads it, that is cool. 

If you do read my shit then I would love you to comment just so I know someone is there LOL

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

BUST A MOVE - THE PINK PATOOTIES

If you would have told me that I would WILLINGLY sign up to do 6 (YES SIX!!!) x 45 minute blocks of hard core cardio exercise in one day I would have back-handed you and told you to go and have a good hard look at yourself in the mirror.

But, that is exactly what I did.  

I signed up to do BUST A MOVE BRISBANE.

According to the website:  http://www.bustamove.org.au/  

Bust a Move is the best day out you'll have all year! 

There are six energising and exciting sessions - think black light Zumba complete with glow sticks, 80s style aerobics and a once in a lifetime opportunity to train with the incredibly hunky blue trainer from TVs The Biggest Loser, Shannan Ponton! 

It's going to be a heart-pounding, exhilarating, life-changing day of hope.

Bust a Move teams raise funds for Mater chicks in pink support services. These provide practical assistance for women going through breast cancer treatment, and can include counselling, yoga therapy to assist in rehabilitation after
surgery or specially fitted mastectomy bras. The money you raise will also help fund world-class research to improve the way we treat cancer and fight for a cure.

=====================================================

I was joined by the fabulous Yvette, Sheri & Bianca and we created a group called 

The Pink Patooties !!

We arrived at the Convention Centre in our matching gingham bandannas, full of excitement and a underlying feeling of "what the fuck have we signed up for?".

9.am IT BEGAN!

TIGHT & BRIGHT WITH TODD

45 minutes of totally toned terrrrrrrrific Todd dancing about on stage like an extra on Priscilla Queen of the Desert.  It was heaps of fun because the music was awesome (& mainly about arses I noticed). I was going ORF! I was even slappin' my arse to that horrific Nicky Manarge song Anaconda!! WTF...... Loved it! 

GROUP KICK – KICK IT

45 minutes of Miss Piggyish "Hiiiiiiyarrrrrrrrrr" karate chops. Again I loved this. I haven't done kick boxy stuff in yonks.

I totally SUCK at the kicking part but man could our group punch the FUCK out of an invisible assailant.

THEN IT WAS TIME TO FOR MY FAVOURITE ......

LUNCH

The food was bullshit good and healthy of course.  We were sweaty and panting but managed to find the energy to cram as much of the buffet into our gobs as we possibly could.

We also did a quick run into the free photo booth for some fun pics!

BLACK LIGHT ZUMBA

We were given arm band glow sticks to put on and it was time to get back into it.  At this point my thighs & knees were starting to feel the first pangs of anger but these were forgotten when the Bollywood dance sequence came on! 

The Pink Patooties were all over that shit! It was so awesome.

I really loved zumba. I merangayed the shit out of it. HOT TAMALE!

GROUP GROOVE

OK this is when it all started to go pear shaped like my arse.  Sooooooooo many squats. Soooo many grape vines. The instructors were WAY too chipper & upbeat for my liking.

I was beginning to get tired and grumpy now.  My knees were screaming. My MAC fushia lippie was smeared across my face and I was beginning to snarl at people.

YOGA HONOUR HOUR

"Thank fuck" I thought :time for yoga".  I was hangin for some savasana & child's pose action.

NUP. I don't know what school of yoga this girl went to but it was BULLSHIT. It was more like more friggin aerobics with a couple of warrior poses chucked in. 

I was NOT happy and Ooming.

TIME FOR ANOTHER BREAK. 

This time we took advantage of the group of young well sculped men whose (unfortunate) job it was to massage the shoulders of the stinky sweaty heavy breathing women. 

It was so terrible (not). I may have gotten a bit flushed.

We tried out the Gatoradey slushey machine which gave us all freeze brains but it was freaking delcious.  I skulled some more coffee while eavesdropping on some mega fit looking gals who were saying the last class is the hardest. My bowels clenched in terror.

Yvette (wisely) decided enough was enough. Poured herself a slushie & kicked back on one of the many beanbags available.

In a flurry of excitement we were told to clear the area of all towels & water bottles and get ready to greet ....

SHANNAN PONTON !!!!!!!!!

Thus began the WORST 45 minutes of my life.  Sweaty glistening boganesque dorky Shannon proceeded to pretty much TORTURE the room of women while constantly screaming at us how much of a bunch of awesome CHICKS we are.  

Bianca & Sheri raised their arms about 10 minutes in and called "Fuck this shit!" and joined Yvette on the beanbags. For some reason, maybe it was pride, maybe i just went nuts but I decided that if the size 24, 60 year old woman next to me who had survived breast cancer could do it then so could I. Considering I have the athletic stamina & body of a dead blob fish this was ....

 So very very foolish.

I was paired with a very young, very fit, very bubbly, very happy, very lovely girl who I wanted to punch in the face because she hadn't even cracked a sweat and was just so, well very chirpy.

MOLE.

I cannot tell you WHAT exercises we were FORCED to do because I can't bear to relive it.

Imagine the most awful (as in pain inducing) exercise class EVER and multiple it by 100.

Why the fuck they would put the most difficult class on LAST is beyond me.

IN YOUR FACE SHANNON IN YOUR FACE

Then it was over.... We had done it!

A young Bust a Move support crew girl dashed up to me and squealed "You rock!" , thrust a clip board in my face and giggled "So you want to sign up for next years Bust a Move?".

She scurried away rather quickly when I growled "Fuck. No."

Am I glad I did it? Of course. Will I do it again. Not in a million years.

By the following Thursday my knees felt like they had been hit with sledgehammers ala Stephen King's Misery and I really thought I had done some serious damage.

I cannot believe that on the day they had free massages & facials and instead of dropping out of a session & doing this I killed myself on the mat. Nut. Bag.

So was it heart-pounding?  If by heart-pounding you mean I felt like my heart was beating so hard it was going to literally burst from my chest in spray of blood & arteries. Then yes.

Was it exhilarating? If by exhilarating you mean my muscles are still shaking and I lost about 10 litres of sweat then YES.

Was it  life-changing? If by life changing you mean my knees will never be the same again. Then yes.

A day of hope? If you mean did I hope the session with Shannon would end with him giving me a full body massage with Nuturmedic oils. Then YES.

AFTER

AFTER ALL WAS SAID AND DONE WE DID HAVE A GREAT TIME AND THE PINK PATOOTIES RAISED A TOTAL OF $1603.58 .

WHICH IS BETTER THAN A POKE IN THE EYE WITH A BLUNT SICK. 

(as my Dad used to say).

Now pass the Deep Heat & wheat pack.

Thanks.

xoxoxoxxoxo

Smarter than the Average Bear

In my never ending quest to feel like a million bucks I decided to take a huge leap out of my comfort zone and go to HOT YOGA.

Now I've been to a couple of 'normal" yoga classes before and loved it but knowing how much the summer heat throws me into fits of, what can only be described as pathetic childish tantrums of pointless rage, the thought voluntarily doing exercise in what can only be described as a sauna did not push my motivational buttons.

Couple this with the sight of young 20 some-things who glide past my work each afternoon on their way to said hot yoga class their $100 Lorna Jane emblazoned singlets clinging to their size 8-10 bodies , environmentally friendly Byron Bay yoga bags bouncing off their rock hard arses sipping on coconut water and you could say that it did not instil me with confidence.

THEN I discovered on YouTube YOGA WITH ADRIENE and I started doing yoga every morning and most afternoons in the seclusion of my sewing room with just my trusty lap top and Harvey my cat for company.
Unlike other yoga instructional videos I have watched, Adriene is freaking funny, easy to follow AND don't have the personality of a hippy cyborg.  So impressed with her videos was I, that I even started getting up 45 minutes earlier in the morning because I felt so good afterwards.

2 weeks ago I was in the coffee shop next to my work and I noticed the two gals in front of me had yoga mats and were looking quite flushed.  The thing was, they weren't like the Lorna Jane crowd, they looked.... well..... normal.  I hesitantly approached them and blurted "Do you go to the hot yoga around the corner?". Big smiles filled their beet red sweaty faces "We sure do!!"

I then rather rapidly stammered "Oh I'd love to go but I'm just so self conscious, and so unfit and embarrassed and it is hot and what if I can't breathe and what if I can't do it. What if I panic and want to get out? Do they lock you in? I'm not a size 10. What if I look like an idiot."

These girls looked at me with warm smiles that said "Yep that used to be me" and then gushed
"You will feel amazing. You should just give it a go" "You can stop at any time" "Nobody judges you" "It's the best thing we ever did" "I've lost 10 kilos in 6 months" "You won't regret it"
"Just do it"

SO that afternoon I walked up the steps to the reception and signed up for the introductory offer.

The next afternoon I went armed with my Shannon Ponton Yoga mat from Kmart for $10, a towel, my 1.25 litre water bottle and a stomach full of nerves.

I entered the 30 degree room and lay down on my mat.  Almost IMMEDIATELY my heart thought "What the fuck is this shit?" and started pounding like crazy! I focused on my breathing and found that after only about 5 minutes not only had I gotten used to the heat but it felt really good.

When the instructor came in I immediately went to him and blurted out all of my fears.
I'm unfit. I'm inflexible. What if the heat is too much? Can I leave the room? What if I can't do the moves?
He gave the that same serene warm smile that said "I remember when I first started"
He assured me that at any time I could leave the room. That every single person in the room will be completely focussed on themselves and their own breathing that they won't even be aware of anyone else in the class. That I should try each move but only do it to the best of my ability today.
If it all becomes too much just go into Child's Pose and if I want I can just stay in that pose the whole class or even lie on my back.
He seemed genuinely stoked that I was there & STARTING.

Sure enough, over the next hour I felt like I was as graceful as a water buffalo that had been stung by a wasp and had the flexibility of a plank of 2x4 and I sometimes felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest it was struggling to pump blood around my clogged arteries BUT.....

about 3/4 of the way through ..... I FELT FUCKING INCREDIBLE.  I felt cleansed and light.

The final 10 minutes was a meditation and was just heaven.  I was lying there totally drenched in my own pouring stinky sweat but I didn't want to leave the room!

When it was all over the yogi (no not the bear) came up to me to see how I felt.

All I could say was "I'm so happy". 
He gave me that smile again and said "Imagine how happy you will be if you keep going".

Beaming, I sprung down the steps and glided back to my car feeling wonderful.

"It bet I'm super red". I thought to myself so I adjusted my rear view mirror to take a look.

OK ... MENTAL NOTE.... DO NOT WEAR NON-WATERPROOF MASCARA TO HOT YOGA.

I looked like a blonde Alice Cooper!! and you know what?

I DIDN'T FUCKING CARE!

I have definitely found an activity that I love and can't wait to do more of....... At least that's what I thought until I went to a new class with a new yogi who didn't think 30 degrees was hot enough.... but that's for another blog post LOL

NAMASTE BITCHES
 

Ain't no Mountain High Enough

"I....... can't............ make.............. it"

"You can do it".

"Can't ....... breathe".

"One step at a time come on".

"My..... fucking....... calves........... hurt".

"Take your time"

"Farrrrrrrrrkkkkk Oooooooooo arrrrrrrr"

 

 

This is the conversation between hubby & I just 10 minutes into my climb of Mount Coolum

last Sunday morning 6am.

WHERE WE WALKED TO

October the 12th was International Earth Cache Day in the Geocaching World.

 

What the hell is an Earth Cache I hear you warble?

The excellent video explains everything
 

You don't have to actually FIND anything to get an Earth Cache... you just have to go to a specific location... sometimes you have to email the person who created the cache with answers to questions about the location & take a photo of yourself at the location. 
Earth Caches are usually fantastic amazing geological locations. 
Unfortunately we did not have the time or the funds to go to The Blue Lagoon in Iceland or Machu Picchu Fault Line or "Devils Kitchen Sinkhole" in Arizona so we settled on climbing to the summit of MOUNT COOLUM on the Sunshine Coast.

The information we got about the walk was that it would take approx. 1 hour up & 1 hour down.  What I didn't realise was that it isn't a BUSH walk (it is in the blazing sun) and there are 50 million fucking steep rock steps to walk up.

Anyone would think we were about to hike across the Andes with Bear Grylls with the prep that we did.
I got some you-beaut Merrell hiking boots and Mick bought some hiking poles. We had heaps of water, frozen oranges, coconut water, trail mix and granola bars.
Dammit, if the Martins are going to do something, by God, we are going to do it one THOUSAND % and leave NOTHING to chance.

10 minutes into our climb up the 50 million step rock steps my wonky brain made an executive decision that shortness of breath, nausea, sweating & muscle pain meant that I MUST be having a PANIC ATTACK!  So I then got dizzy, felt like I was going to projectile vomit over the lush scenery and I became very anxious and shaky.

Luckily, I have a very patient husband who instructed me that we were not on any time limit & to just stop whenever I want and concentrate on my breathing.

After about 5 minutes I convinced my brain that I was NOT going to die and that my body was simply doing something very foreign  ...... EXERCISE.

 

 

I continued. I focused on just putting one foot after the other and regulating my breathing.
Surprisingly, after only about another 5 minutes we met with some young whipper snappers coming back down who told us we were only a couple of minutes from the summit!

Sure enough, the final 5-10 minutes were quite easy and we stepped out onto the summit.

GASP!

THE VIEW WAS INCREDIBLE. A 360 degree view of the Sunshine Coast. AMAZING.

We sat (I plonked) down on one of the beautiful smooth grey/white rocks (called rhyolite) and took it all in.

It was so lovely. There was a slight cool breeze and everybody who was up there was very quiet, just absorbing the beauty.  I guzzled my coconut water and tried to focus on muffling my rasping breath.  I closed my eyes and just focused on the sunlight on my face & the wind on my skin and the fact that I had DONE IT!

The walk down was made MUCH easier with the use of a hiking pole to take some of the weight off my crunchy knees.  It actually only took about 35 minutes to walk up the mountain (including my breaks every 5 steps to swear & hyperventilate) and only about 15 minutes to get back down.

Would I walk up it again?  Definitely.  Next time I would go for about a 15 minute walk beforehand to warm up the ole glutes & quads though.

It was a bit of an exercise personal achievement for myself and it has inspired me to do more 'outdoorsy' exercise challenges.

Geocaching is NOT a fashion contest

 

AND I got a new souveniour on my geocaching page! 

BOOYARRRR!!!

xoxoxoxoxxox

Not all Who Wander Are Lost

January of 2014 TBF & I were doing what we normally do on a Saturday night....
sitting up in bed with our lap tops surfing the net and sharing funny gifs of cats riding hotdogs through space..... same as everybody else.
Little did I know that an innocent viewing of a YouTube clip would send our happy lazy family spiralling into a secret world of adventure, nature, danger and Tupperware.

"Check out this clip" TBF motioned to me. "It's a thing called Geocaching."

After watching this clip we looked at each other and in unison cooed "Cooooooooooool".

"I wonder if there are any of these geocaches near us?" I wondered.

"I'm already on it". TBF excitedly downloaded the free app.

"Holy Shit!" He exclaimed "There's one just up the road! Let's go find it tomorrow!"

"Fuck yeah!" I exclaimed back.

OK.

Here is where I will interrupt my tale to explain to you what the hell GEOCACHING is.

I might just let this video explain:

In a nutshell..... it is a treasure hunt that is WORLDWIDE.  There are 2 million 498 thousand 340 caches (cache is the name given to the thing) hidden all around the world.

You download the app & sign up as a member (about $30/year).

Then, using the GPS in your phone you try to find the cache.

When you do find the cache,  you LOG IT on the paper log that is in the cache and online on the app and then you put it back EXACTLY how you found it.

 

NO THERE IS NO PRIZE OR MONEY INVOLVED.

 

The excitement is in the hunt.  

 

The idea behind geocaching is to

TAKE YOU TO PLACES YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT TO GO. 

How do you know what to look for?  Well... you don't. The app will give you an indication of size and terrain. Some caches are evil tricky little fuckers. They can be as simple as a Sistema container hidden under a tree or as messed up as a fake rock hidden in a dry creek bed of rocks.
It could be a fake stick or a huge ammo tin.

 

The other thing you have to know about geocaching is this................. it's a secret.

When you are trying to find the hidden cache you are to do it very very sneaky.

The object is to find and log the cache without anybody seeing you.

 The geocaching community calls anyone who isn't a geocacher a .... MUGGLE.

Yes I groaned outwardly too.....I know it's totally nerdy.

 

SO BACK TO JANUARY.

We found the approximate location of the cache and of course, had no idea what the hell we were even looking for.  After 15 minutes of scrounging through bushes & trees and being eaten alive by 50 million mozzies we saw a flash of blue under some sticks. I cannot explain the rush of exhilaration & joy of finding this stupid bloody Tupperware container! For Gawds sake we even HIGH-FIVED!
We quickly signed the log book & logged the find on the app and put it back again.

Itching like crazy, scratched & bleeding we flopped into the car. 

 

TBF looked at me. 

 

I looked at TBF.

 

"Want to try & find another one?" He smiled.

 

"Fuck yes!" I screamed.

=========================================

NINE MONTHS LATER

I have found 109 caches. I have a 'GO' bag in my car boot at all times (a GO bag is a backpack with everything you might need to find a cache... pen, Aeroguard, tweezers, magnet, band aides, etc)
If you would have told me a year ago I would be spending my weekends trudging up hills, screaming "Where the fuck is it?!!!" in the middle of the bush and getting on my hands and knees crawling under bushes in front of public toilets (geocaching is not a glamorous hobby).... I would have spat my latte out in your face with laughter.

Some people might scratch their heads and say incredulously "Why would you want to traipse through the bush, climb up (and nearly fall down) embankments, climb up trees and stick your hand into tree stumps just to find a stupid container???"

For me I think it is a few things.

 I really like the idea that all around us are hidden things. Hidden treasures that people walk by everyday. Hidden goodies way out in the middle of nowhere just waiting to be found.
I am also attracted to discovering new interesting places.  When I was young I loved exploring. I loved reading books about hidden worlds like "The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe" and "Folk of the Faraway Tree".
Geocaching brings out the child in you.
You have to climb trees, sneak through grass, and work out puzzles.
Already geocaching has taken me to some incredible places that never in a million years would I have ever gone and seen.

AND IT'S EXERCISE.

Some of the more interesting (read: bloody frustrating) caches I've found are;
A fake pine cone hanging in a tree
A fake stick hanging on a tree
A fake bolt in a fence
A fake SNAIL that had the log book coiled up inside the shell.
The "Mission Impossible" cache at Dakabin.

If you are the sort of person who likes adventure, getting out and about, learning new things and are a wee bit crazy then you will love GEOCACHING.

BUT BE WARNED

 

IT IS ADDICTIVE.

The official geocaching website is:  www.geocaching.com

 

You can download the INTRO app for free or the full Premium member app.

 

NOTE:  You must be very conscious of not spoiling the hide for others.

You will see that even though I have posted photos of us with some caches that we have found,  there is no indication of where they are or what the actual cache name is .

Yes I know I've put Redcliffe Showgrounds but this cache has since been removed.

MS MOONLIGHT WALK

 

 



Friday night I fought the terrible afternoon Roma Street traffic shit-fight & headed to meet up with the in laws and around 3000 others to do the MS Moonlight Walk.  
The walk is a 10km walk around the Brisbane river to raise vital funds to fight for Queenslanders living with multiple sclerosis.

We named our team THE MOONSHINE WANDERERS and we ended up raising $4377.
This is mainly because my in-laws are like a staffy with a bit of rope when it comes to raising funds. Once they get their teeth stuck into something they go 1000%.

The Moonshine Wanderers with the Mayor of Ipswich Paul Pisasale

The walk was so lovely. It was great walking around the river at night and made me wonder why we don't do it more often. It took us around the river through Southbank, across the Story Bridge, along Eagle St Pier & through the Botanical Gardens back to Southbank Parklands again.
We kept a good pace... a brisk stroll....
The MIL couldn't help herself though was off striding ahead of the pack. I only have The Tiny Legs & so I mainly bought up the rear.

The Brisbane city skyline at night is beautiful and the weather was lovely & mild.
As we walked through the Botanical Gardens we were treated to a band called Amity Affliction playing on the River stage.  They were some sort of Death Metal Band and were SOOOO LOUD. The lyrics to the song we heard went something like
"GWWWARRRRRRR ARRRRRRRLLLLLLLARRRRRRR SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRZZZZZZ".
Beautiful.

 



I couldn't get over how many people were out and about. Just about all of the restaurants were PACKED!
The walk was mainly on level ground so it wasn't so bad but by around the 7km mark my back & feet were starting to kill.  I was cranky because I forgot to wear my you-beaut sports socks & the dodgy no-brand ones ended up feeling like I had sandpaper under my feet. Stupid fallen arches.

The walk took us about 2 hours and by the time we got to the finish line we were all pretty knackered, aching & hungry. 
It was a great night though & I'm so glad the rain buggered off.
The atmosphere was lovely as you watched all the lanterns everyone was given, illuminating the way around the river. A stack of people were also dressed up as Star Wars characters, in tutus, Mario Bros and a random army camouflaged bloke who kept scaring people.

The Legend Paul Pisasale. Mayor of Ipswich.

Afterwards, the fam headed to Guzman Y Gomez for some Mexican and then we all went home & collapsed into a coma (after I had a scalding shower & coated my whole body in Pain Away cream).

I GOT TO MEET A REAL LIVE JAWA!!

 

 

The whole night raised an amazing $442,414 !!!!!!!!!!!!!

www.moonlightwalk.com.au