BUCK MELANOMA. MOLDY RUSSELS WART.

Well, haven't I been weak as piss with my blogging?

Just shitfull really

 

Since the start of the year I been in a bit of a blogging funk.  My creative juices that are normally a raging torrent of expressiveness ....  just slowed to a trickle.
Kind of like when you have a urinary tract infection...
You FEEL like you have all of this wee built up in your bladder but then when you actually go only a little bit comes out.....  if anything at all.  Yeah. Just like that.

I mean, being the socialite that I am I have certainly been DOING heaps of things that I can rant on about on here.

For example, I hosted an LOVE INTIMO lingerie party on the bullshit hottest day in 100 years where we locked our fabulous Intimo lady, Pauline in my sewing/beauty room with only a pissy pedestal fan from Aldi & forced her to touch our sweaty dripping boobs & back fat for 7 hours. 
Good times.
My husband was VERY interested in looking at the catalogues on the website to HELP us choose what bra and undies we should get. He's selfless like that bless him.
Because I have friends who earn way too much money & put a stack of importance on how good & comfortable their bazzoongas look & feel I made enough in sales to get 3 bras for free AND a pair of giant nanna undies that are the most comfortable undies in the whole universe.
WINNER!
To see the Love Intimo range go to:  http://www.intimo.com.au/

INTIMO LOVE

I have also been to an Australia Day BBQ on the second hottest day in 2000 years. The theme was (appropriately _...  TROPICAL.  It was a fantastic day even though I could not stop muttering "Tooooo  hawwwwt. Tooooooo hawwt. I fuggin hate the fuggggin heat. Fugggin heat. Fucked. Farrrrrrrrrrrrrk. Gimme another firkin kabana cheese & onion thing".

The day was spent complaining about the heat with the funniest, gorgeous , awesome people in the world though. I burned 50000 calories running back and forth from the deliciously air-conditioned house where I would collapse onto the ice cold tiled floor and rub my face into the tiles while moaning in ecstasy to then stumbling back into the heat and humidity to eat more kabana, watermelon & pav and watch the insanity unfold on the home made MEGA SLIP N SLIDE.
I WOULD have gone on it but that required energy & movement of which I had none.

Yes that IS a small child clinging tenaciously to that man's buttocks

What a corker !

OUR TOP BLOKE & TOP SORT SHELIA HOSTS

My other exciting adventure in 2015 was the removal of the giant hideous double mole on my shoulder. That bastard has taunted me for years but I was always too scared to have the mongrel hacked off.  I booked into Mole scan to have a check for skin cancer (I'm ticking off all the 'now I'm getting old' health checks) when the doctor suggests that even though it isn't cancerous that we remove it while I'm there.  I was shit scared but I said quickly DO IT!

 

As I was lying there I was thinking how ridiculous it is to be afraid of getting it done when I have done 5 rounds of IVF that involved 100s of needles some of which were stuck right up into my tallywacker!!

The doctor didn't take long to chop that ugly sucker off  and then he had to cauterise it.
Very strange and worrying emotions come up when you realise that you are paying someone to deliberately burn your flesh. Ooooooooookayyyyyyyyyyy.

I have so many exciting things planned for 2015 that

I can't wait to bore you with!

 

 

Birthday parties.
Vintage Fairs. 
I Love Lucy shows. 
Wayne Hancock in concert. 
The Golden Days of Hollywood Exhibition. 
Big Sandy & Los Straightjackets.
Engagement parties. 
The Bust A Move fundraiser day for Breast Cancer Research.
Bad Manners in concert. 
Furs n cocktails luncheon. 
My FANCY DRESS DISCO FUNDRAISER!.
Greazefest!
Zombie party. 
Then potentially going to NEW YORK & BOSTON !!!

Not to mention all the blog posts about my sewing projects and geocaching trips.

Holy shitballs!

So I really have NO excuse not to pour my words out onto the internet and into your eyeballs.

Thanks for being patient & reading.

 

XOXOXOXOXOXOXXO

OK I ALSO DYED MY HAIR PURPLE & BLUE.
LIFE'S TOO SHORT FOR BORING HAIR.

 

PS:  Have you got an event or shin-dig

that you would like me to go to and write about???

 

Just email me at hifallutin72@yahoo.com