It's kinda like a new pair of underwear. At first it's constrictive, but after a while it becomes a part of you.- Garth Algar

Well what a shit of a week it has been in the land of Mz V.

GASP!!! 2 KILOS !

Last Thursday night I was totally expecting to have a gain on the scales due to my overinflated reproductive organs which obviously turn into steel every month....  "well strap my face to the side of a pig and roll me in the mud" if I didn't put on 2 KILOS! When I told the room of my gain there was a rather humourous (yet kind of horrifying) collective GASP from the crowd. I am sure I heard murmering "2 kilos! For shame" "That poor girl" "let's run her out of town" "I'll get the pickforks & torches".
Lawd only knows what the heck happens down there in Flo-Town every 26 days but today I did a berry-berry sneaky weigh in and it seems I have lost the mystery 2kg AND another 1kg to boot.
RAD.
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Then our car gearbox shit itself so now I am driving the in-laws Prado around. Thank goodness they were able to lend me their car but I am super paranoid driving the big McCaffertys bus of a thing. I'm freaking out that some little P-Plater chick in a Mazda with tinkerbell seat covers is going to run into me. So on the weekend we went up to Oakey & got my Dad's car. He is now in a home so he doesn't need it. The only problem:  It is a manual and I only have an auto licence and I haven't a clue how to drive a manual. So now the race is on to teach me to drive. We started yesterday arvo and I did quite well.  Turns out I'm a natural and TBF was very gentle instructing me how to handle his gear stick.
heheheheh sorry I couldn't help myself. TBF will teach me some more this weekend & then I will have one or two lesson with a driving school & then I should be right to have my driving test.
YIKES!!!!
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It's been a very stressful week here at The House of the Screaming Radish where I work. The Service Manager is away on holidays & so I am doing my job & his. This is not a problem as I am Super Secretary and can file, answer the phones, paint my nails, balance the cheque book, surf the net, update my facebook status, type up job sheets & post pics of my sandwiches on Instagram all at once.
BUT...my boss doesn't cope with stress very well.... at all... that is all I am going to say.

Then yesterday the accountant came in to do the BAS. That was very stressful too.
I have combated my feelings of stress and anxiety in a bad way. Handfuls of Allens Joobie lollies from the work lollie jar, one Mars Bar (NEW HONEYCOMB FLAVOUR!) , 1 x Milky Bar 50g, and 10 Scotch Finger Bickies. I am CRAVING sugar like you wouldn't believe. *sighs loudly*
And I also haven't done any exercise.. AGAIN.
I'm looking forward to getting the exercise bike!
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In some positive news, my boss announced to me last week "You're looking good Vicki. You can really tell that you are losing weight!" I quickly checked to make sure that I hadn't suddenly sprouted $50 notes on my body. "Ummm thanks?" I replied trying very hard to stop my right eyebrow raising in a skeptical arch.  That's my first weightloss compliment I've gotten so shit, I'm taking it!
Then on Sunday we took my Dad out to The Meringandan Pub for lunch. I had the lamb shanks with veges. OMG it was so good. It was a lovely day. Now, before I continue I WILL point out that my Dad has dementia & is in a nursing home. Poor bugger. He's only 63. He doesn't have super duper bad alzhieimers or dementia yet but what he does is mixes up his words. He knows that a cup is a cup but if I ask what it is he might say "Yeah 3 o'clock".

A sure sign of dementia: Dad's new found love of Celtic Thunder.
So sad.

So ANYWAYs we are sitting there enjoying the sun when Dad suddenly says "You're thinner!".
I took this as a massive compliment as Dad isn't really one (even before dementia) to hand out compliments but he has always been one to dish out 100% honesty. (sometimes not in a good way).
Last time we went out he announced to TBF "You're not even fat anymore!"
So Dad saying that I looked thinner made me quite chuffed.
At that moment a very large chicken walked past our table. Dad looks at it & exclaims
"Look at the size of that dog!"
FACE PALM ... LOL.
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Have a great weekend everybody. My boss has decided to give us Friday off as well as Anzac Day.
Wooohoooo! I will be spending my weekend picking up the exercise bike, riding the bike, going to a Rockabilly Gig on Friday night, seeing Bendigo Bank to hopefully sort out our completely shitful financial situation, sewing a new skirt and learning how to drive a manual so I can start doin'
fish-tails & mainies down Anzac Avenue on the weekends. fully sick bro.
Be safe everybody.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxoxo